Mediation and Divorce Blog - Equitable Mediation Services

When you first told your husband you wanted a divorce, you may have said things like, “I only want what’s fair for both of us and the kids” or “I’m not looking to turn this in to an all-out war.”

Wise words indeed...

But wanting a fair divorce and actually figuring out what is fair in a divorce settlement are two entirely different matters.

So what are the things you need to concern yourself with and how can you come to a settlement agreement you both find fair?

True or false?

The average cost of divorce mediation is determined solely by the mediator’s hourly rate?

Survey says…

False!

It might be hard to believe, but the hourly rate of the mediator only has some (but not much) bearing on what your divorce mediation costs will ultimately be.

So if it’s not only the hourly rate of the mediator, what other factors should you be concerned about?

If you've decided to divorce after 20 years or longer, you're probably feeling very alone. Like you're the only couple in the world facing divorce after 50.

But despite what you hear about the falling divorce rate, getting divorced after 20 years of marriage - even after 25 and 30 years for that matter, is not only common these days, but it's on the rise.

According to Bowling Green University's National Center for Family & Marriage Research, from 1990 to 2012, the divorce rate for 55 to 64-year-olds more than doubled, while the rate of divorce for the 65 and older population tripled!

There are many reasons for a divorce at midlife - also known as  gray divorce.

But regardless of why couples are choosing to divorce after staying together for so many years, it’s important to understand that divorce in a long-term marriage is markedly different and much more complicated than divorce after 10 years or less. 

Let's take a closer look at how divorcing after 20 years of marriage (or more) can impact the specific financial, emotional and parental issues you'll face as you go through your divorce.