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How to Prepare for Divorce – 54 Experts Share Their Best Tips

Equitable Mediation

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Going through a divorce or legal separation is a complicated and overwhelming ordeal.

So if you’ve made the decision to divorce or are facing divorce proceedings because your spouse has stated their intention to end the marriage, you might be wondering what first steps you should take to get through this difficult process as quickly and amicably as you can.

Knowing that steps taken up-front can make the entire divorce process more peaceful, fair and drama-free, we asked 52 experts (in addition to Joe and me) to reveal their best and most insightful tips on preparing for divorce with simple, actionable tips.

We also asked a number of former clients who are now divorced what, if anything, they would have done differently to make their divorce more peaceful, fair, cost-effective and/or easier on their kids. And what divorce advice they have for others getting ready to start the divorce process with children.

I hope you find all of the following insights helpful during your own divorce preparation!


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Topics: Planning for Divorce, Amicable, Fair, Child-Focused, Divorce Mediation

My Wife Wants a Divorce. What Should I Do?

Joe Dillon, Divorce Mediator

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Sure, you knew things weren't perfect in your marriage. But it seemed like you got along pretty well.

Didn't argue much. And both spent a lot of happy times with the kids.

But something along the way changed for your wife.

Maybe it was a shock when you heard the news or maybe you saw it coming. But either way, you're saying to yourself, "I can't believe my wife wants a divorce. What should I do? Should I let my wife divorce me amicably?"

It's rare for both spouses to be on the exact same page about divorce at the exact same time. What's more common is wife wants divorce, husband doesn't. Even if the husband is fully aware the marriage has broken down.

That might not make you feel any better, but now that you know your wife wants a divorce, you need to know how best to proceed without losing your kids (and your shirt) in the process.

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Topics: Planning for Divorce, Divorce Support, Divorce Mediation, Reluctant Spouse

Divorce After 20 Years of Marriage or More

Cheryl Dillon, Divorce Coach

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If you've decided to divorce after 20 years or longer, you're probably feeling very alone. Like you're the only couple in the world facing divorce after 50.

But despite what you hear about the falling divorce rate, getting divorced after 20 years of marriage - even after 25 and 30 years for that matter, is not only common these days, but it's on the rise.

According to Bowling Green University's National Center for Family & Marriage Research, from 1990 to 2012, the divorce rate for 55 to 64-year-olds more than doubled, while the rate of divorce for the 65 and older population tripled!

There are many reasons for a divorce at midlife - also known as  gray divorce.

But regardless of why couples are choosing to divorce after staying together for so many years, it’s important to understand that divorce in a long-term marriage is markedly different and much more complicated than divorce after 10 years or less. 

Let's take a closer look at how divorcing after 20 years of marriage (or more) can impact the specific financial, emotional and parental issues you'll face as you go through your divorce.

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Topics: Planning for Divorce, Amicable, Fair, Child-Focused, Divorce Mediation

The articles in this blog are for informational purposes only and are not intended as legal advice, financial advice, emotional advice or counsel.

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