While we’ve been performing divorce mediation online since 2011, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly increased the number of online divorce mediation service providers.

But just because someone calls themselves an online mediator, it doesn’t mean they have the skills or expertise to effectively resolve the issues of your divorce in this way. That’s why it’s so important to carefully choose a professional mediator well versed in the unique nuances of mediating online.

To help you make an informed decision, and understand more about our proprietary online mediation process and services, I’ve put together this handy guide.

I’ll cover:

• What is online divorce mediation?
• Do you need to retain attorneys if you mediate online?
• How does online divorce mediation work and what is our divorce process?
• What makes us experts in our field compared to other mediators?
• How is our role is different as an online mediator versus an in-person mediator?
• What are the best ways to make your mediation sessions efficient and effective?
• What are the benefits of mediating online and when might it be inappropriate?
• What are the technology and privacy concerns in an online environment?
• And what percentage of Equitable Mediation’s client couples successfully reach agreement? (spoiler alert – it’s 98%)

Just as if we were mediating face-to-face, I’ll actively guide you and your spouse through our comprehensive virtual divorce mediation process where I’ll help you identify, discuss, negotiate, and resolve, all of the issues required for your uncontested divorce. But instead of the three of us sitting in the same room together, the two of you will be in your own separate location(s) and connect with me via Zoom.

Unlike other service providers who use faceless automated systems to “mediate” your divorce, our online mediation is hands-on, real divorce mediation. The only difference is the format used to conduct your family mediation sessions.

Digital platforms are transforming divorce resolution! Before Zoom became popular, divorce mediation required in-person meetings with a mediator in their office. Restricting divorcing couples to local practitioners in their area.

Now, parties seeking divorce mediation services can conduct an initial consultation with a highly skilled mediator from anywhere, choosing the best possible divorce professional for their unique situation.

While my primary goal as your mediator remains helping couples like you and your spouse avoid court and reach agreement in the areas of child custody, child support, alimony, and property division, there are several other responsibilities I have when conducting virtual divorce mediation sessions.

• First, I need to ensure you and your spouse are in a quiet, distraction-free space. Unlike face-to-face meetings, virtual family mediation sessions can make it challenging to control the environment. Especially when other family members like young children are around!
• Second, confidentiality in divorce mediation becomes more complex online. As your mediator, I will visually (and sometimes verbally) confirm that no additional people or other family members are present during virtual sessions and that no recording or screen sharing of any kind is taking place.
• Third, I will offer frequent breaks and check ins to keep you focused. I understand that not everyone is used to being on phone or video conferences all day like I am. Our online divorce sessions are designed to allow ample time for breaks.
• Finally, we offer a series of videos and training documents to help parties navigate our online platforms and tools and get educated on the various family mediation topics we’ll be covering such as: child custody, child support, alimony, and property division. This way you can come to session prepared to answer important questions and make decisions on the divorce issues we’ll be covering.

Technical requirements

To begin, you will need a computer equipped with Internet services and a camera. Because you will be viewing a variety of forms, worksheets, software programs, and presentations, participating via phone or tablet in virtual sessions will be difficult.

Financial discovery

Unlike in person divorce mediation where you can hand your mediator a physical stack of paperwork, in virtual divorce mediation, you’ll provide those documents to me electronically, uploading them to our secure client portal.

Creating a comfortable and private workspace

Divorce mediation sessions can last up to 2 hours. So choose a quiet, private space with good lighting and minimal background distractions. These are sensitive (and confidential) topics we’ll be discussing so taking the meeting from your car or a coffee shop is not ideal. And if you’re going to take the call from work, be sure you can be somewhere private, or have an office door you can close.

Communication strategies for effective online sessions

Our use of screen sharing to review documents together, and take notes in real-time so we’re “all on the same page,” helps reduce the potential for disagreement or misunderstanding.

Our use of video conferencing allows everyone to see facial expressions and nonverbal cues which can be helpful in understanding the “temperature” of the room – especially when you and your spouse are in separate locations.

And while we all expect 100% uptime, sometimes the Internet can fail us. So we encourage you to have a backup communication device like a phone in case your connection drops and you need to let us know.

All other communication protocols remain the same as in person mediation. Such as speaking clearly, taking turns talking, using “I” statements to express your feelings without blame, and keeping conversations solution-oriented, and child-focused.

Mental and emotional preparation

For some couples, online mediation services can feel transactional or distant. Lacking the human touch and contact that in person divorce mediation offers.

But by leveraging the communication strategies above, I promise you as your mediator, I will do my best to (and often can) alleviate many of those feelings. If your circumstances allow, and you decide your comfortable doing so, being in the same room with your spouse can make the process feel more personal.

And because the end of a marriage is an incredibly difficult and painful experience that no one is truly prepared for we offer divorce coaching to help support you both during this difficult time.

Increased flexibility and convenience

Whether you’re traveling for work, or juggling family responsibilities, our virtual divorce mediation services removes many traditional obstacles that life throws at you.

For professionals who travel frequently, online mediation means you can participate in important discussions without disrupting your work schedule. Parents benefit too, as they can join our sessions from home without needing to arrange childcare.

And if it’s just not possible for one spouse to leave the house due to a disability or medical condition, this mediation format can be quite beneficial for you and other family members as they will not need to transport you or the other spouse to sessions.

Plus, with online mediation, you can avoid the stress of worrying about travel time, navigating traffic, or dealing with public transit delays. Just a simple video call – with no travel time whatsoever.

Reduced emotional stress

Going through a divorce is tough, and dealing with your ex-spouse face-to-face can be emotionally challenging. In the past, traditional mediation meant both parties had to be in the same room. Now, you and your ex can stay physically apart while working through your divorce negotiations.

This approach helps reduce emotional stress, making it easier to have productive conversations, and make important decisions, without the added pressure of being in the same physical location and space.

Faster resolution process

Balancing work schedules, commuting times, and family and childcare responsibilities can make coordinating divorce mediation meetings seem almost impossible. Online mediation changes all that by offering incredible flexibility.

Now, divorcing couples like you and can schedule sessions at times that work best for everyone involved, making the entire mediation process smoother and more convenient. This approach eliminates the stress of finding a single time and location that works for all parties, helping you reach a final agreement more efficiently.

When domestic violence is a concern

If a restraining order prevents you and your spouse from communicating directly, virtual mediation will not be an option and you will need to forgo mediation, retain a lawyer, and pursue your divorce through the court system. If you have the ability to make telephone or video contact, virtual mediation might work. But that depends on the level of conflict between you and your spouse.

Couples with a significant power imbalance

If one party is afraid to speak up in front of the other party, answer questions, provide information, etc., mediation (in general) will not work. In cases like these you may wish to use attorneys / the court system rather than a mediator to help in your circumstances.

The “technologically unsavvy”

Hard to believe but not everyone in life sits at a computer all day so for those individuals who don’t, completing online forms and worksheets, and scanning and uploading documents and files to a portal may not be an ideal way to resolve divorce issues.

Data protection in online platforms

Since you’ll be sharing a significant amount of sensitive information with me, as your online divorce mediator, we only use secure systems to exchange information, conduct sessions, and collect payment. And unless you give us express written permission, no one outside our offices will be allowed access to your files.

Ensuring confidentiality in the mediation process

Confidentiality helps facilitate open communication in mediation as you and the other party can speak freely about your issues without fear of consequences. It also builds trust as a confidential environment helps parties feel safe, leading to more productive discussions.

As part of our Agreement to Mediate, we have strict confidentiality provisions that we require clients to abide by. We also abide by the provisions contained in the Uniform Mediation Act in the states in which we practice.

At this point it’s no secret since I already told you this in the introduction! While we can’t speak for other mediators, since 2008, our case resolution rate is 98%. And since we’ve been mediating online since 2011, we feel it’s safe to say that our success rate for online mediation is the same.

So when working with us, you have an excellent chance at coming to agreement on all issues required for you and your spouse to get a divorce. And avoid all the acrimony that comes from pursuing a divorce through the court system!

So there you have it! Now you know what online mediation is and hopefully agre we’re the right mediator for you.

If we sound like a good fit, and you live in one of the states where we practice, schedule an initial consultation for you and your spouse to get started.

And if you’re not ready to book a meeting with your spouse yet, you can set up an information call just for yourself to explore if online mediation is right for you.

We know going through a divorce isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be a total nightmare either. Our online mediation services are just one of the ways we can help make your divorce as smooth and stress-free as possible.