While we’ve been performing divorce mediation online since 2011, the COVID-19 pandemic significantly increased the number of online divorce mediation service providers.

But just because someone calls themselves an online mediator, it doesn’t mean they have the skills or expertise to effectively resolve the issues of your divorce in this way. That’s why it’s so important to carefully choose a professional mediator well versed in the unique nuances of mediating online.

To help you make an informed decision, and understand more about our proprietary online mediation process and services, I’ve put together this handy guide.

I’ll cover:

  • What is online divorce mediation?
  • Do you need to retain attorneys if you mediate online?
  • How does online divorce mediation work and what is our divorce process?
  • What makes us experts in our field compared to other mediators?
  • How is our role is different as an online mediator versus an in-person mediator?
  • What are the best ways to make your mediation sessions efficient and effective?
  • What are the benefits of mediating online and when might it be inappropriate?
  • What are the technology and privacy concerns in an online environment?
  • And what percentage of Equitable Mediation’s client couples successfully reach agreement? (spoiler alert – it’s 98%)

What is online divorce mediation?

Just as if we were mediating face-to-face, I’ll actively guide you and your spouse through our comprehensive virtual divorce mediation process where I’ll help you identify, discuss, negotiate, and resolve, all of the issues required for your uncontested divorce. But instead of the three of us sitting in the same room together, the two of you will be in your own separate location(s) and connect with me via Zoom.

Unlike other service providers who use faceless automated systems to “mediate” your divorce, our online mediation is hands-on, real divorce mediation. The only difference is the format used to conduct your family mediation sessions.

Digital platforms are transforming divorce resolution! Before Zoom became popular, divorce mediation required in-person meetings with a mediator in their office. Restricting divorcing couples to local practitioners in their area.

Now, parties seeking divorce mediation services can conduct an initial consultation with a highly skilled mediator from anywhere, choosing the best possible divorce professional for their unique situation.

Do we need attorneys if we mediate?

Before we jump in, let’s clarify something about involving attorneys in your divorce.

There is no legal requirement that you involve attorneys in your divorce. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require spouses to hire attorneys to consult with throughout mediation.

While consulting with attorneys is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage.

Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation – with or without attorneys.

How does online divorce mediation work with Equitable Mediation?

Just because a person knows how to use Zoom, it does not necessarily make them an effective online mediator. There are some unique requirements and skills an online mediator must possess to effectively guide couples to divorce.

Let’s take a closer look at what working together would look like and how we differ from other mediators.

Our technology

  • We use a secure video conferencing platform called Zoom to conduct our online mediation sessions.
  • We use a secure online file-sharing and collaboration system which allows the sharing of documents, as well the ability to securely communicate.
  • We use an online calendar program to allow you to view my calendar in real-time and schedule your divorce mediation sessions at your convenience.
  • We use an online payment processor to securely collect payments.
  • And we use standard software programs such as Adobe, PowerPoint, Word, and Excel for our proprietary training documents, forms, and worksheets which we’ve developed and refined over our 14 years of delivering online mediation services.

This makes for a more user-friendly mediation process to both become our clients and to complete your divorce. Compared to other mediators, your divorce will be far more efficient.

Enabling you to focus on what matters most – your family, your finances, and your future.

Our divorce process

Because the three of us will not be in the same room as each other, we know from experience – unlike other mediators – that being able to keep negotiations productive and on track requires a well-designed and thorough online mediation process.

At a high level, this is what our online divorce process would look like when working together:

Action Item Who’s Involved? Purpose?
Mediation Client Onboarding Equitable Mediation Client Support Provide access to our secure client portal, and instruct you and your spouse on the discovery process and how to schedule your first divorce mediation session. Provide Mediation Roadmap containing important milestones.
Mediation Strategy Session Joe, Client Couple Set goals and develop a tailored plan for addressing each of your issues and concerns throughout your mediation negotiations.
Financial Discovery & Pre-Work Client Couple Gather and submit documents, forms, and worksheets that educate Joe on your finances and situation to allow him to effectively conduct your mediation and guide you to agreement.
Mediation Sessions Joe, Client Couple Work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including: parenting and child custody, child support, alimony, and property division.
Mediation Negotiation Recap Joe, Client Couple To ensure all issues and concerns were addressed during your divorce mediation sessions, and that agreements reached are agreeable to you and your spouse.
Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) Joe Comprehensive document that details all final agreements reached in mediation.
MOU Review Session (if requested) Joe, Client Couple Answer any questions you and/or your spouse may have about your MOU or anything that was discussed in mediation.

Our divorce process

Because the three of us will not be in the same room as each other, we know from experience – unlike other mediators – that being able to keep negotiations productive and on track requires a well-designed and thorough online mediation process.

At a high level, this is what our online divorce process would look like when working together:

Step 1: Mediation Client Onboarding

  • Who: Equitable Mediation Client Support
  • Description: Provide access to our secure client portal, and instruct you and your spouse on the discovery process and how to schedule your first divorce mediation session. Provide Mediation Roadmap containing important milestones.

Step 2: Mediation Strategy Session

  • Who: Joe, Client Couple
  • Description: Set goals and develop a tailored plan for addressing each of your issues and concerns throughout your mediation negotiations.

Step 3: Financial Discovery & Pre-Work

  • Who: Client Couple
  • Description: Gather and submit documents, forms, and worksheets that educate Joe on your finances and situation to allow him to effectively conduct your mediation and guide you to agreement.

Step 4: Mediation Sessions

  • Who: Joe, Client Couple
  • Description: Work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including: parenting and child custody, child support, alimony, and property division.

Step 5: Mediation Negotiation Recap

  • Who: Joe, Client Couple
  • Description: To ensure all issues and concerns were addressed during your divorce mediation sessions, and that agreements reached are agreeable to you and your spouse.

Step 6: Memorandum of Understanding (MOU)

  • Who: Joe
  • Description: Comprehensive document that details all final agreements reached in mediation.

Step 7: MOU Review Session (if requested)

  • Who: Joe, Client Couple
  • Description: Answer any questions you and/or your spouse may have about your MOU or anything that was discussed in mediation.

Free Mini Course: The Essential Guide to Divorce Mediation

Learn what mediation is, how it works, and how to determine if it’s the right option for you.

Additional roles of the mediator in an online environment

While my primary goal as your mediator remains helping couples like you and your spouse avoid court and reach agreement in the areas of child custody, child support, alimony, and property division, there are several other responsibilities I have when conducting virtual divorce mediation sessions.

  • First, I need to ensure you and your spouse are in a quiet, distraction-free space. Unlike face-to-face meetings, virtual family mediation sessions can make it challenging to control the environment. Especially when other family members like young children are around!
  • Second, confidentiality in divorce mediation becomes more complex online. As your mediator, I will visually (and sometimes verbally) confirm that no additional people or other family members are present during virtual sessions and that no recording or screen sharing of any kind is taking place.
  • Third, I will offer frequent breaks and check ins to keep you focused. I understand that not everyone is used to being on phone or video conferences all day like I am. Our online divorce sessions are designed to allow ample time for breaks.
  • Finally, we offer a series of videos and training documents to help parties navigate our online platforms and tools and get educated on the various family mediation topics we’ll be covering such as: child custody, child support, alimony, and property division. This way you can come to session prepared to answer important questions and make decisions on the divorce issues we’ll be covering.

Preparing for virtual mediation sessions online

Technical requirements

To begin, you will need a computer equipped with Internet services and a camera. Because you will be viewing a variety of forms, worksheets, software programs, and presentations, participating via phone or tablet in virtual sessions will be difficult.

Financial discovery

Unlike in person divorce mediation where you can hand your mediator a physical stack of paperwork, in virtual divorce mediation, you’ll provide those documents to me electronically, uploading them to our secure client portal.

Creating a comfortable and private workspace

Divorce mediation sessions can last up to 2 hours. So choose a quiet, private space with good lighting and minimal background distractions. These are sensitive (and confidential) topics we’ll be discussing so taking the meeting from your car or a coffee shop is not ideal. And if you’re going to take the call from work, be sure you can be somewhere private, or have an office door you can close.

Communication strategies for effective online sessions

Our use of screen sharing to review documents together, and take notes in real-time so we’re “all on the same page,” helps reduce the potential for disagreement or misunderstanding.

Our use of video conferencing allows everyone to see facial expressions and nonverbal cues which can be helpful in understanding the “temperature” of the room – especially when you and your spouse are in separate locations.

And while we all expect 100% uptime, sometimes the Internet can fail us. So we encourage you to have a backup communication device like a phone in case your connection drops and you need to let us know.

All other communication protocols remain the same as in person mediation. Such as speaking clearly, taking turns talking, using “I” statements to express your feelings without blame, and keeping conversations solution-oriented, and child-focused.

Mental and emotional preparation

For some couples, online mediation services can feel transactional or distant. Lacking the human touch and contact that in person divorce mediation offers.

But by leveraging the communication strategies above, I promise you as your mediator, I will do my best to (and often can) alleviate many of those feelings. If your circumstances allow, and you decide your comfortable doing so, being in the same room with your spouse can make the process feel more personal.

And because the end of a marriage is an incredibly difficult and painful experience that no one is truly prepared for we offer divorce coaching to help support you both during this difficult time.

Benefits of mediating your divorce online

Increased flexibility and convenience

Whether you’re traveling for work, or juggling family responsibilities, our virtual divorce mediation services removes many traditional obstacles that life throws at you.

For professionals who travel frequently, online mediation means you can participate in important discussions without disrupting your work schedule. Parents benefit too, as they can join our sessions from home without needing to arrange childcare.

And if it’s just not possible for one spouse to leave the house due to a disability or medical condition, this mediation format can be quite beneficial for you and other family members as they will not need to transport you or the other spouse to sessions.

Plus, with online mediation, you can avoid the stress of worrying about travel time, navigating traffic, or dealing with public transit delays. Just a simple video call – with no travel time whatsoever.

Reduced emotional stress

Going through a divorce is tough, and dealing with your ex-spouse face-to-face can be emotionally challenging. In the past, traditional mediation meant both parties had to be in the same room. Now, you and your ex can stay physically apart while working through your divorce negotiations.

This approach helps reduce emotional stress, making it easier to have productive conversations, and make important decisions, without the added pressure of being in the same physical location and space.

Faster resolution process

Balancing work schedules, commuting times, and family and childcare responsibilities can make coordinating divorce mediation meetings seem almost impossible. Online mediation changes all that by offering incredible flexibility.

Now, divorcing couples like you and can schedule sessions at times that work best for everyone involved, making the entire mediation process smoother and more convenient. This approach eliminates the stress of finding a single time and location that works for all parties, helping you reach a final agreement more efficiently.

When online mediation may be inappropriate

When domestic violence is a concern

If a restraining order prevents you and your spouse from communicating directly, virtual mediation will not be an option and you will need to forgo mediation, retain a lawyer, and pursue your divorce through the court system. If you have the ability to make telephone or video contact, virtual mediation might work. But that depends on the level of conflict between you and your spouse.

Couples with a significant power imbalance

If one party is afraid to speak up in front of the other party, answer questions, provide information, etc., mediation (in general) will not work. In cases like these you may wish to use attorneys / the court system rather than a mediator to help in your circumstances.

The “technologically unsavvy”

Hard to believe but not everyone in life sits at a computer all day so for those individuals who don’t, completing online forms and worksheets, and scanning and uploading documents and files to a portal may not be an ideal way to resolve divorce issues.

Technology and privacy concerns

Data protection in online platforms

Since you’ll be sharing a significant amount of sensitive information with me, as your online divorce mediator, we only use secure systems to exchange information, conduct sessions, and collect payment. And unless you give us express written permission, no one outside our offices will be allowed access to your files.

Ensuring confidentiality in the mediation process

Confidentiality helps facilitate open communication in mediation as you and the other party can speak freely about your issues without fear of consequences. It also builds trust as a confidential environment helps parties feel safe, leading to more productive discussions.

As part of our Agreement to Mediate, we have strict confidentiality provisions that we require clients to abide by. We also abide by the provisions contained in the Uniform Mediation Act in the states in which we practice.

Success rates and effectiveness of online mediation

At this point it’s no secret since I already told you this in the introduction! While we can’t speak for other mediators, since 2008, our case resolution rate is 98%. And since we’ve been mediating online since 2011, we feel it’s safe to say that our success rate for online mediation is the same.

So when working with us, you have an excellent chance at coming to agreement on all issues required for you and your spouse to get a divorce. And avoid all the acrimony that comes from pursuing a divorce through the court system!

Mediation services designed for real life

So there you have it! Now you know what online mediation is and hopefully agre we’re the right mediator for you.

If we sound like a good fit, and you live in one of the states where we practice, schedule an initial consultation for you and your spouse to get started.

And if you’re not ready to book a meeting with your spouse yet, you can set up an information call just for yourself to explore if online mediation is right for you.

We know going through a divorce isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be a total nightmare either. Our online mediation services are just one of the ways we can help make your divorce as smooth and stress-free as possible.

FAQ

Frequently Asked Questions

Mediation is an unregulated profession in the United States, and every mediator has their own approach. We can only speak to how divorce mediation works with us.

Strategy Session

Our mediation process starts with a strategy meeting – the first meeting between you, your spouse, and Joe, your mediator, to set goals and develop the plan for your negotiations. During this meeting, he will share what you can expect throughout the process and tips for how to get an optimal outcome. You and your spouse will each have the opportunity to voice your most pressing concerns and goals for mediation.

Joe will then work with you both to develop a tailored plan for addressing each issue throughout your negotiations, determining the most effective sequence for resolving matters regarding your children, finances, property, and future.

Having a complete financial picture allows Joe to understand your situation and create options to explore during negotiations that best serve your family’s needs. At the end of the strategy session, Joe will walk you through what financial information is needed prior to each mediation session.

Mediation Sessions

After completing your initial financial work, you’ll schedule your first session. During this and subsequent meetings as needed, Joe will help you work through and resolve all necessary aspects of your divorce including a parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of property and debts.

He will listen to each of your wants, needs, concerns, and goals, formulate ideas, create options, and work together with you to develop fair and equitable solutions. Drawing on his financial expertise, he’ll provide guidance about the financial matters relating to your divorce so you know what your financial picture will look like moving forward.

In areas where agreement proves challenging, Joe will employ various conflict resolution techniques to help you and your spouse communicate more effectively, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate toward mutually agreeable solutions.

After each session, Joe will outline specific tasks to prepare for your next meeting – whether that’s gathering financial documents or considering options discussed. This step-by-step approach keeps the process manageable and productive. You can easily submit all documents through our secure online portal.

Drafting of the Agreement

Once all necessary issues have been resolved and your negotiations have concluded, Joe will draft a comprehensive document called a Memorandum of Understanding detailing all agreements, along with a host of other supporting documents. This paperwork will outline the terms of your divorce.

Mediation can resolve all of the issues necessary for a couple’s divorce including, but not limited to:

  • A parenting plan outlining parental responsibilities and time sharing arrangements for co-parenting children post-divorce. (some refer to this as custody)
  • Child support. (which is the financial support each parent will provide the children)
  • The division of marital assets and liabilities. (also referred to as either equitable distribution or community property, depending on the state where the divorce is taking place)
  • And how much, and for how long alimony will be paid or received. (alimony may also be referred to as either spousal support, maintenance, or spousal maintenance, depending on the state where the couple is getting a divorce)

Along with the four main issues listed above, mediation can help resolve a host of other important issues related to your unique situation or circumstances.

Every mediator’s process (if they have one) is different, so we can only speak to how long divorce mediation takes working with us.

Most couples complete their mediation in 3 – 5 sessions, meeting with Joe every other week. On average, divorce mediation takes 2 – 3 months. The speed of our divorce mediation process is largely within your control. Your timeline will depend on the complexities of your case, how quickly you complete the required financial work between sessions, ease in coordinating your schedules, and pace in reaching decisions.

Every private mediator has their own fee structure, and divorce mediation cost and fees vary significantly based on the experience and skill level of the mediator, the scope of their mediation services and individual case complexities. They also vary from state-to-state.

Our mediation fees are tailored to each couple’s unique situation and case complexity. Even our most comprehensive packages typically cost less than what you’d spend on two attorney retainers.

Our sessions take place via Zoom. Online mediation provides a flexible, convenient and efficient dispute resolution solution. In fact, we pioneered online divorce mediation and have been successfully mediating in this format since 2011.

There is no legal requirement that you must have a divorce attorney, and many people specifically choose mediation because they want to divorce without a lawyer. However, depending on their professional background and approach, some mediators do require each spouse to hire a lawyer to consult with throughout mediation.

While attorney consultation is not required in our mediation process, we fully support clients who wish to seek legal counsel at any stage. Our focus is on empowering you to make informed decisions in whatever way works best for your situation.

No! You do not need to have everything decided before starting mediation. The only thing you need to agree on is the decision itself to mediate your divorce. In fact, many couples specifically wait until mediation to negotiate the issues.

Divorce is a complex matter, and you may not “know what you don’t know” when it comes to the issues you need to identify, discuss and resolve in order to come to a complete agreement. By working with Joe, you can be assured that everything will be discussed thoroughly – in the proper order and given the necessary time and attention it deserves.

Whether you are divorcing or separating, our mediation process is the same. The difference is in what you choose to do with your mediation agreement after the process is completed.

Starting mediation with us begins with a simple first step – scheduling an initial meeting for you and your spouse. This meeting gives you a chance to share your situation, ask questions, and learn about our mediation process in a private, no-pressure setting. It also helps us understand how we can best support your unique needs.

** Available to couples whose divorce or separation will take place in California, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, or Washington State.

You and your children will benefit when you choose divorce mediation.

Mediation is more Peaceful: A mediator guides couples to attack problems, not each other – fostering respectful dialog and win-win solutions. This approach paves the way for a peaceful, amicable divorce that benefits both spouses and their children.

Fair and Equitable: One party cannot “win” at the expense of the other as resolutions must emerge from the process with a divorce settlement created and acceptable to both parties.

Less Expensive: The cost of divorce mediation is significantly less than traditional divorce litigation, the collaborative divorce process, or a court trial.

Better for Children: Children aren’t caught in the middle of a confrontational family court process or traumatic heated custody battle. Instead, parents work together to resolve the issues in a way that’s best for their family. A non-adversarial approach fosters more agreement, improved communication, better parenting plans and a better co-parenting relationship.

Better Results: Couples who mediate are more satisfied with the terms of their divorce because they were mutually agreed upon.

Dignified: Instead of the cold, traditional court process where a couple is treated like a case file or docket number, mediation is a kinder, more human process. Divorce mediation allows couples to end their marriage while maintaining self-respect and dignity.

Private and Confidential: In a private mediation session, everything is confidential. No one will know what’s being discussed except the two spouses and their mediator. Unlike a litigated divorce, where everything submitted to the family law court is part of the public record.

Divorce Faster: The pace of the process is controlled by the parties, instead of being at the mercy of a lawyer’s or a judge’s schedule.

Ultimately, the payment arrangement is up to the couple to decide together. Most frequently, couples split the mediation costs equally between them, as the mediator works with both spouses together to help them reach agreements. This 50-50 split often feels fair to most people since they each benefit from the process.

Another approach is to share mediation costs in a ratio based on each spouse’s income. For instance, if one spouse earns twice as much as the other, they might pay two-thirds of the cost while the lower-earning spouse pays one-third. This income-based split can make mediation more accessible for couples with significant income differences. Occasionally, one spouse may choose to pay the entire cost of mediation, though this is less common.

No, a mediator cannot give legal advice. Some people think if they hire a divorce mediation attorney, which is another way of saying a lawyer who practices mediation, that the “attorney-mediator” can provide legal advice.

But that is not the case. Because when they are in the role of a divorce mediator, a lawyer cannot dispense legal advice – regardless of their professional background.

There’s a lot more to these divorce methods and how they work, but here are just a few of the many differences between divorce mediation vs a lawyer.

In attorney-driven divorces, each spouse hires their own respective attorney to represent them.

The two lawyers will argue back and forth in court on issues of child custody and a parenting plan, division of property, alimony and child support. Each divorce lawyer will create strategies to fight and weaken the other party’s position in order to “win” the divorce case for their respective client – even if it’s at the detriment of the other spouse, the couple’s children or the overall health of the family unit.

Traditional divorce litigation using attorneys is adversarial, lengthy, and expensive.

In divorce mediation, both spouses work with one mediator.

The divorce mediator does not take sides and does not give legal advice – they are a neutral third party. The mediator helps both spouses communicate, negotiate directly (privately and out of court) and resolve all issues that pertain to their divorce. Couples have the opportunity to voice their individual concerns, be heard and have direct input into the terms of their divorce settlement agreement.

In mediation, there is no “win-lose” as a skilled divorce mediator helps the couple reach fair and amicable solutions that prioritize the well-being of children. Mediation is a more peaceful, less costly, confidential divorce method that takes significantly less time and produces better outcomes.

There are many differences between divorce mediation and collaborative law including cost, time to complete and approach.

The Collaborative Law Process is a hybrid between a traditional attorney-led divorce and divorce mediation.

Each party retains their own respective lawyer trained in the collaborative process to represent them. Both spouses and their respective counsel sign a contract called a “participation agreement” that states that they are all committed to using cooperative techniques rather than combative tactics to resolve custody, support, etc.

In the Collaborative Process, a series of meetings take place between both spouses and both lawyers and possibly other outside professionals such as a divorce coach or therapist, child specialist, accountants or financial planners as needed to negotiate and try to come to agreement on the issues. If agreement cannot successfully be reached on all relevant divorce issues using the Collaborative Divorce Process, the lawyers will be disqualified from representing the two parties as they continue into the litigation process.

While for some problematic cases, Collaborative Process can be worth a try before resorting to divorce litigation, but it can get very expensive and drawn-out, and there are no guarantees of success.

In the process of mediation, there are three participants working together in direct negotiations: each spouse and one mediator.

The mediator is neutral and does not represent either spouse. They help the two parties negotiate directly to resolve all required issues pertaining to their divorce. Couples have direct input into the terms of their agreement. In mediation, there is no “us against them” as the goal of mediation is to help the parties reach an agreement they are both satisfied with and that keeps their children front and center.

Mediation delivers better outcomes for divorcing couples and their kids, takes less time to complete and is less expensive than a collaborative divorce.

Learn more about divorce mediator vs collaborative law.

During the negotiation phase of the process, mediation is not yet binding. But once all issues in your divorce are resolved and agreed upon, drafted into a proper document by a qualified professional, signed by both parties (both spouses), and approved by the courts, the agreements made will become binding in a couple’s divorce decree.

After a couple reaches agreement on all issues in mediation, the final step is completing the formal court process to end the marriage. However, the time to finalize a divorce after mediation varies significantly by state and sometimes even by county, as each jurisdiction has its own requirements.

For example, in New Jersey, there is no waiting period. The process simply requires the couple’s filing professional to submit the court paperwork and await a court date, which typically takes 8 to 12 weeks. In contrast, California has a mandatory 6-month waiting period. This means that even after completing all required paperwork, couples must wait an additional 6 months before receiving their final judgment of divorce.

Divorce mediation is a viable option for couples who meet all of the following criteria:

  • Couples who want an experienced professional to help them identify and discuss the issues while retaining full control over the decisions they will make and full control over their settlement agreement;

An experienced divorce mediator will help the parties identify the issues and present a number of possible solutions, but will not give the parties legal advice or tell either party what to do.

  • Couples who are willing to engage in an honest and good faith negotiation;

Mediation is a transparent process so both parties must be willing to openly disclose all relevant information, whether financial or otherwise, to the mediator and to the other party and ensure the information is accurate, complete and truthful to the best of their knowledge. If either party is hiding assets or defrauding the other, mediation should not be used.

  • Couples where both spouses are willing to voluntarily attend and actively participate in mediation;

If one party wants to mediate but the other does not, mediation will not be a viable option for that couple’s divorce.

  • Spouses who are both mentally capable of making their own decisions;

Each party must be of sound mind and have the capacity to think, reason and understand for him/herself. Learn who we help.

  • One spouse is incapacitated
    Mediation centers on “self-determination” – the ability of both parties to make decisions in their own best interests. If they’re mentally incapacitated in any way, mediation will not be a viable option.
  • There’s domestic violence or safety concerns
    If there’s a restraining order in effect, it may make mediating impossible. Or maybe there’s such a significant power imbalance that one spouse is afraid to express their true needs for fear of retribution from the other side. If a party has safety concerns, mediation will not be a viable option.
  • A party has concerns that assets or debts are being concealed.
    Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires transparency. So if one party is concerned the other is hiding assets or debts, or their business dealings aren’t above bar, mediation is not recommended.
  • One spouse refuses to participate
    Because mediation is voluntary, both spouses must be willing to at least give it a try. Active participation is one of the requirements for making mediation work.

Divorce mediation is an unregulated profession and there’s no such thing as a certified mediator (other than a term some mediation associations designate to their members), so it’s also critically important to hire a good mediator.

There are four characteristics of an experienced and competent mediator for divorce:

  1. The ability to expertly guide two opposing parties through a complex negotiation and ultimately to settlement while remaining neutral at all times;
  2. The ability to create a series of settlement options for the parties to discuss and consider based on the mediator’s involvement with a variety of other cases similar to theirs;
  3. A command of the complex financial matters surrounding divorce;
  4. A comprehensive knowledge of and ability to remain current on the issues that may impact a couple’s divorce agreement.

Some attorneys feel that attending law school provides them with the skills they need in order to practice mediation. But while they may have a grasp of family law matters, they may not know how to be an effective mediator or remain fully neutral. They also may not have the financial acumen required to resolve the many complex financial issues surrounding a divorce dispute.

The key is to choose a mediator who has been professionally trained, knows the issues that need resolution, is truly neutral, has mediated hundreds of cases and is skilled in resolving the complex financial matters surrounding divorce.

Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

About the Authors – Divorce Mediators You Can Trust

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided more than 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each of their interests and prioritizes their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve divorce’s financial, emotional, and practical issues peacefully and with dignity.

Photo of mediator Joe Dillon at the center of the Equitable Mediation team, all smiling and poised around a conference table ready to assist. Looking for expert, compassionate divorce support? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to connect with our dedicated team today.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Negotiation Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

  • Physical and legal custody
  • Spousal support (alimony) and child support
  • Equitable distribution and community property division
  • Business ownership
  • Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Photo of Cheryl Dillon standing with the Equitable Mediation team in a bright conference room, all smiling and ready to guide clients through an amicable divorce process. For compassionate, expert support from Cheryl Dillon and our team, call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 today.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Life Transitions Expert

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through divorce’s emotional complexities compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage divorce’s challenges effectively. Because emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

  • Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
  • Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
  • Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
  • Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
  • Spousal support and asset division mediation
  • Divorce coaching and emotional support
  • Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

  • 98% case resolution rate
  • Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
  • Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
  • Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
  • Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

  • California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
  • New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
  • Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
  • New York: NYC, Long Island
  • Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
  • Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Info Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

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  • Why Choose Mediation? 10 Ways It Outperforms Traditional Divorce (With Cost Comparison)

    Here's 10 advantages of mediation for divorce. Before you hire attorneys, learn why you owe it to yourself and your kids to mediate your divorce instead.

  • The True Cost of Divorce Mediation: More Than Just a Mediator’s Hourly Rate

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