As parents starting a divorce in Washington, your children are most likely your number one concern. And they should be. You love your kids and want the world for them. So now that you’re ending your marriage, how will you ensure they get the financial support needed to minimize the effect your divorce will have on them?

That’s where child support in Washington State comes in.

But the Washington State Child Support calculator has a number of complexities and limitations, and coming to an agreement may be harder than you think.

Washington state child support: What is the purpose?

In Washington state, child support guidelines have two purposes:

  1. To ensure that the monthly child support obligation agreed upon by you and your spouse is enough to meet your children’s basic needs; and
  2. To provide a framework for discussion regarding an amount of additional child support, based on each of your incomes, resources, and standard(s) of living, for any further needs your children may have, that are not included in the basic needs above.

Child support is one of four topics that are discussed and agreed upon in divorce mediation along with a parenting plan, spousal maintenance (also known as alimony or spousal support), and community property (dividing marital property and debts).

But if you’re wondering how child support works in Washington, it’s important to recognize that this topic is about more than just money.

Many parents think the purpose of WA State child support is to make sure they have enough money after they’re divorced to pay for the items their kids need. But that’s only partially correct.

Divorce is hard on children. And life as they know it is about to change significantly. Child support helps alleviate some of the effects your divorce may have on them. And allows your kids’ lifestyles to remain as normal as possible, once you and your spouse have ended your marriage.

Child support shows your kids you still love them, want the best for them, and care about their well-being.

There are a few things you need to know about the challenges of determining child support in Washington state:

  • While there is a Washington child support calculator, it can be deviated from, isn’t useful in many situations, and what factors are included and excluded from its calculation can cause significant disagreement between you and your spouse.
  • Because child support in Washington state only considers the income of each parent and not the amount of time the children spend with each of you, those with 50-50 parenting plans may have a difficult time using the guideline “as-is.”
  • Elevated mortgage interest rates, coupled with the above national average cost of housing in Washington state, keeping the children in the marital home post-divorce, may prove challenging.
  • The Washington state child support worksheet does not factor into its calculation the ages of your children, which may cause parents of teenagers to experience a shortfall in support.
  • This topic has less to do with formulas and guidelines, and more to do with money, negotiation, and doing what’s best for your kids.
  • There is more than meets the eye on this issue and in most cases, this subject is much too complex for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you’ll get the best result by mediating your Washington divorce with us.

"Most parents think the Washington child support calculator outputs a specific payment amount to be paid by the parties and that’s that. But the reality is this is just a starting point for negotiations.

You and your spouse may also want to consider the ages of your children, and how much time they spend with each of you. As either of these things may impact the amount of child support you feel is fair. Plus, there are a lot of expenses not covered by the basic Washington state child support schedule that you and your spouse will need to discuss and decide how they’ll be paid.

That's why the best way to come to a fair agreement and ensure your children get the financial support they need is to work with an experienced mediator like me."

Joe Dillon headshot

Joe Dillon | Divorce Mediator & Founder

The Washington state child support calculator is only a starting point for negotiations.

Federal law requires all 50 states to have a repeatable way by which to calculate child support. So while every state has a child support calculator, the approaches vary greatly from state to state. Some states use a simple percentage-based formula. You’d simply take a share of the supporting party’s income and pay it to the other party, and you’re done. This is known as a “percentage of obligor’s income” model. While others have moved to an approach called the “income shares’ model which ideally considers each party’s income and earnings, as well as the amount of time the children spend with each parent.

And while Washington state does use a version of the income shares model, in our experience, there are shortfalls with WA state child support approach.

Making determining child support in Washington state a very complex undertaking.

The Washington state child support worksheet can be both confusing and incomplete.

Washington uses its own version of the Income Shares model which allows you and your spouse to make use of any of the following factors when determining child support:

  • Your incomes from employment, interest, and dividends, and any businesses you own; and
  • Any maintenance (aka alimony or spousal support) paid or received; and
  • Who takes the children as a tax deduction; and
  • Any mandatory retirement contributions either of you must make; and
  • Any mandatory union dues either of you must pay; and
  • How much each of you voluntarily contributes to your 401(k) or other retirement plans; and
  • Normal business expenses; and
  • The value of any household assets such as real estate, investments, vehicles and boats, bank accounts and cash, and retirement accounts you may own; and
  • Any household debts you may have incurred.

There are also several other “add-ons” that may be factored in such as:

  • The cost of your children’s health insurance premiums; and
  • Any out of pocket medical expenses such as deductibles, co-pays, or other non-covered expenses; and
  • Any daycare expenses; and
  • Educational costs for the children; and
  • Any visitation-related travel expenses were one of you to live far from the other.

And if that wasn’t enough to confuse you, there’s this:

The parties may also consider any other factors that either of them deems relevant to the determination of child support.

Starting to see why this is a very complex undertaking?

Now assuming you’ve got all of that, and can enter all this data into the child support calculator, the output may or may not accurately represent what is truly required to raise your kids! One thing WA state child support does not factor in, is the amount of time the children spend with each of you.

This, in my experience, is one of the most significant challenges parents face when attempting to use the WA state child support calculator.

Think about it. The more time your children spend with you, the more food they’re going to eat. The more utilities they’re going to use. And the more expenses you’re going to incur on their behalf. And even though since 2011, experts have recommended adding time sharing to calculating child support, Washington state higher-ups have still not agreed to do so.

Also not considered in the WA child support calculator is the age of your children. And while the state of Washington may feel that way, something tells us if you’re a parent of a teenager, you know their expenses are far greater than their younger siblings. From the amount of food a teenage boy eats, to the labels on the clothes your teens wear, older children are just flat-out more expensive than younger kids! Yet the amount of child support you will receive is the same whether they’re 6 or 16.

What you’re starting to see in Washington, just like everywhere else in the United States, is that the amount outputted by the guideline is an estimation of what it costs to raise your children, may or may not accurately represent what it costs to raise them, and can be deviated from if in your case, you and your spouse choose to do so.

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And many of the “factors” mentioned above are difficult to agree on.

For example, according to WA state child support worksheets, the value of any household assets such as real estate, investments, vehicles and boats, bank accounts and cash, and retirement accounts you may own may be factored into the state of Washington calculation support calculation. So, does that mean you might have to decide how to divide your community property (i.e. your assets and liabilities) to understand who’s going to receive which assets and liabilities before you determine child support? Didn’t see that coming, did you? And, what is an appropriate amount to voluntarily contribute to your 401(k) or other retirement vehicles? Is it fair you max out your 401(k) contributions even if it means your kids don’t have a nice place to live, or enough to eat?

And don’t forget – this guideline was developed by the state of Washington. But the state of Washington doesn’t know the exact amount required to ensure your kids are properly supported so they’ll thrive.

Only you know what it actually costs to raise your kids!

So, while you might think you simply run the guideline and use the number calculated, it’s not even close. The reality is, the number isn’t a hard and fast formula, but rather, a suggestion. And it’s just a starting point for negotiation.

From there, it’s up to you and your spouse to negotiate an agreement that’s in the best interests of your children and that you both find fair.

Which is not so easy to do. Especially if you live in Seattle. Child support amounts outputted by the calculator may not be adequate for parents who live in urban areas of King County!

So what does child support cover in Washington state?

So far, you’ve learned that the Washington State child support schedule attempts to provide divorcing parents with an estimate of a basic amount of financial support needed to raise their kids. And then it allocates a portion of that amount to each spouse based on a number of factors.

But even when you run the child support calculator, Washington state parents still need to decide which expenses should be included, and how they’re going to handle those that aren’t.

As parents, I’m sure you would agree that you have to provide at least a basic level of support to your children. Food on the table, a safe place for them to live, and clothes for them to go to school in.

But after that, what does child support cover in Washington State is the subject of much debate.

First is the issue with the Washington child support calculator itself. Previously, we talked about how any out-of-pocket medical expenses such as deductibles, co-pays, or other non-covered expenses, was one of the categories listed on the WA State child support worksheets. But should these really be included?

Let’s look at the story of 5-year-old Jake. Jake is an active little boy who loves to swim. His mom swears he’s part fish! But poor Jake is highly susceptible to ear infections and sinus infections. Resulting in frequent trips to the doctor, lots of antibiotics, and a significant number of co-pays made to both Dr. Johnson and Bartell Drugs.

At first, it seems like including out-of-pocket medical expenses in the WA state child support amount for Jake makes sense. But over time, something happens, and Jake grows out of them. No more doctor visits or prescriptions to pay for! But back when you got divorced, Jake’s child support award included funds for deductibles, co-pays, and other non-covered expenses. So, in theory, the WA State child support amount you both agreed on for Jake is too high. So now you must open old wounds and attempt to renegotiate the amount. Ugh!

Then, there’s the matter of the items that were not covered in the State of Washington child support calculation.

Such as:

  • Swimming lessons;
  • Cheerleading academy;
  • All-star baseball camp;
  • Automobile insurance;
  • College site visits;

And the list goes on and on…

In mediation, we commonly refer to these as “extraordinary” expenses and they are not typically included in the basic child support amount. These items must be discussed and negotiated separately to ensure your children get the financial support they need and deserve. Because let’s face it, the items listed above tend to be among the most expensive of all!

Starting to see why answering the question, “How much is child support in Washington state” is not as simple as using some free calculator you may have found on the Internet?

There are other issues to be decided regarding Washington child support.

In addition to the basic and extraordinary costs associated with raising your children, you and your spouse will also need to discuss and come to an agreement on:

  • Who gets to take the child tax credit;
  • Who will pay for the children’s health insurance;
  • Whether you have enough life insurance to cover the children’s expenses now and when they go off to college;
  • How college tuition costs will be paid for;
  • The duration child support in Washington is paid (because for some children, it may extend beyond age 18)

Making the list of what is not easily resolved, longer and longer.

The Washington state child support worksheets aren’t clear on how to handle all situations.

Back when I was a kid, it was easy to figure out how much my parents got paid. Mom worked 20 hours a week in a jewelry store and was paid hourly. And Dad was a construction supervisor and had a flat salary. There were no bonuses, restricted stock units, stock options, or ownership shares in their companies. Maybe dad got a Christmas ham or bottle of booze as a thank you come year-end, but that was that.

Today, compensation has gotten far more complex.

Bonuses, stock options, RSU’s, commissions, deferred compensation – you name it – can all play a significant role in how someone earns a living. And these types of financial incentives usually aren’t paid out on a regular basis. And in some years, not at all.

If you or your spouse receives one (or more) of these “exotic” compensation methods, the amount you receive may far exceed the amount you get through your basic salary amount. So, predicting what each of you earns for the purposes of determining child support can be difficult.

Add to that more and more people in the Seattle and King County area work for high-tech startups, and are being compensated with ownership shares, and you’ve got some real challenges in determining how much is child support in Washington State.

And who’s counting, anyway?

Prior to your decision to divorce, I’m sure you and your spouse did everything you could to give your kids the life they deserved. There was no pre-agreed upon amount you were going to spend every month. And there certainly wasn’t any cap. They asked for something, and you provided it to them.

No questions asked.

But now that you’re divorcing, that’s exactly what the Washington state child support guidelines are asking you to do.

In order to get a divorce in the state of Washington, you and your spouse must agree on a monthly amount of financial support you’ll each provide to your children. And, according to the Washington State Child Support Schedule, that amount of child support may be capped if you and your spouse collectively make more than a certain amount each month.

Now you might be thinking to yourself, “Wait, didn’t you say our children were entitled to share in our current incomes? What if we collectively make more than the cap? Then what do we do?”

Good question…

It’s been my experience that parents typically have very different spending styles when it comes to their children. Leaving you to try and answer the question, “How much child support is enough and how much is too much?”

In either of the cases I described above, you and your spouse would have no choice but to skip the guidelines and negotiate instead.

Which is not always so easy to do.

And the answer to “When does child support end in Washington” isn’t as simple as you might think.

The theory in Washington is that child support ends when a child turns 18 or graduates from high school, whichever is last to occur. So, child support ends somewhere around age 18. Right? Maybe… But what happens if they commute to college? Don’t go to college? Boomerang back home after college?

So, while child support can end at age 18, these days, more often than not, we’re seeing that it doesn’t.

The truth is, there can be exceptions agreed upon by you and your spouse. As parents, the two of you have quite a bit of latitude to decide what works for your children, in your unique situation and circumstances.

When the law gets involved, it’s a problem.

There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a family court judge determines child support. Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Because the judge will dictate a child support order and both spouses might wind up with something they don’t think is fair or that doesn’t appropriately meet the needs of their children.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate this issue out of the courts and that’s exactly what mediation is all about.

In mediation, you get to decide – and come to a child support payment (and agreement) that puts your children first and you both agree is fair, instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger in court.

You will get the best Washington child support result by mediating with us.

Washington State child support issues will vary based on your situation and circumstances. And as you’ve learned, there is more than meets the eye on this topic. So don’t risk putting your children’s financial future in jeopardy by trying to resolve child support on your own.

Use divorce mediation and work with us instead!

Using our extensive financial knowledge of the complex matters of child support in Washington State, we’ll help you and your spouse determine a child support amount that accurately reflects your lives as parents and the specialized needs of your children.

One that covers all basic, extraordinary, and future expenses.

  • We’ll talk about who your children are, what they like to do, and what it will take to make sure they’re getting what they need and deserve. Not just what the formula says you have to pay so they can “get by.”
  • Work through specialized cases like child support for when you share in the care of your children equally. We’ll also explore arrangements in which the children spend a majority of their time with one parent as this, too, can have its own special approach.
  • Help you negotiate any issues of disagreement and create an agreement you both find fair and equitable regarding the support of your children.
  • Make sure your agreement minimizes tax issues, avoids penalties, and improves cash flow whenever possible.

Because no two situations or sets of circumstances are alike.

Your children are unique and your child support agreement should reflect that, too.

Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

Guide to Divorce Mediation in Washington State

In Washington State divorce mediation is a confidential process and may either be conducted using the family law court-supported Washington State Dispute Resolution Center (DRC), or conducted privately by working with Seattle divorce mediators like us.

While both the DRC and private mediators provide mediation services, and remain neutral throughout the proceedings, the DRC may not be best equipped to handle the complexities that most divorcing clients typically have.

There are three major differences between court-supported mediation and private mediation in

First, when mediation is court-supported, you don’t get to choose your mediator like you would with private mediation. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with.

Second, the mediators may be less experienced than private mediators. The only requirement to become a court-supported mediator in Seattle is to take a 40-hour mediation training class. So many new mediators get their start this way and have little or no real-world experience.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-supported mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

In our opinion, it’s always better to hire a private mediator to handle your divorce case.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-appointed mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

Finally, private mediation is not mandated by a judge. The couple forgoes the attorney-driven path to divorce and instead chooses to mediate. So if you and your spouse both agree to use mediation, you’ll hire a private divorce mediator like us, typically before you file for divorce. We would then help you identify, discuss, negotiate and reach an amicable agreement through mediation on all of the required issues, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you choose).

In our opinion, mediation is always better when conducted privately.

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you and  your spouse prepare for mediation by:

  • Developing a framework for your negotiations;
  • Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
  • Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
  • Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
  • And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help the two of you and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to the mediator the pre-work and discovery items required, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions depend greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to offer possible solutions, help you explore and negotiate each option, and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will each be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, along with a host of other related King County court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to use to have your divorce filed with the court.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge in 90 days as there is a waiting period in Washington State.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

Mediation can help couples navigate divorce more peacefully and efficiently, without the cost and stress of lengthy court battles. This confidential process allows the parties to work together in a supportive environment, focusing on finding solutions that work for everyone involved. Rather than leaving decisions to a judge, parties decide their own outcome, which often leads to more satisfying and lasting agreements.

Through mediation, we help the parties reach common ground on important issues like property division, parenting arrangements, and financial matters. The flexible nature of mediation makes it possible to explore creative solutions that might not be available in traditional court proceedings. Because you maintain control of the process, you’re often able to reach agreements that better reflect your family’s unique needs.

Given our extensive experience, we’re able to help nearly all of our mediation cases settle successfully, helping minimize both emotional and financial stress. By choosing mediation, couples can work toward resolution without getting caught up in the adversarial court system, preserving important relationships and setting a positive tone for future interactions, especially when children are involved.

While we always hope couples choose to mediate their separation or divorce, divorce mediation is a voluntary process. In our experience, what typically happens is there’s one spouse who is familiar with mediation, and one who is not. To help your spouse, we encourage you to direct them to our comprehensive options for divorce guide and to learn more about the benefits of choosing mediation.

There is no requirement in Seattle, King County or Washington State that parties have to retain a lawyer as involving attorneys is a matter of personal choice. While some clients choose to hire a Seattle family law attorney to review their settlement agreement (known as a Memorandum of Understanding in mediation) or provide legal advice during or after the mediation process, others explicitly choose to divorce without the involvement of lawyers. If you’d like the perspective of a divorce lawyer on a one or more family law matters, you are encouraged to do so.

No! In fact, many couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them reach a settlement. This way, they can make certain all of the necessary issues will be covered fully – in the appropriate order and given the attention and time required.

While we can’t speak for all King County mediators, for us the answer is yes. We’ve successfully mediated divorce for employees of numerous King County employers including Amazon, Boeing, Kirkland, Microsoft, Shopify, and U of Washington among many others. Given the types of compensation these employers typically offer their employees, most of our cases have a high degree of complexity including complicated compensation such as stock options and restricted stock units, along with other variable compensation components like bonuses and commissions, as well as deferred compensation packages including pensions. We are also well versed in divorces involving a business, high assets, divorce after long-term marriage, and grey divorce.

Read case studies and learn who we help

While the goal of both of these divorce options is to help couples avoid court, there are significant ways they differ from the number of professionals involved, the cost, the timing, among many other factors. You can learn more in our post: Divorce Mediation Versus Collaborative Law Process.

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. Some are attorney mediators, so they may refer to themselves as a “divorce mediation attorney” or “divorce mediation lawyer.” Some are mental health professionals. While others, like Equitable Mediation founder, Joe Dillon, have a financial background.

While the terms can sometimes be used interchangeably, “family law mediation” is the broader of the two. For example, family law mediation may be used to help non-married Washington parents make decisions on and resolve issues of child custody. In this case, since they were never married, there would be no “divorce” in the mediation process.

While any topic involving the family may be brought to resolution using a family law mediator, divorce mediation refers to a specific alternative dispute resolution process focused on ending the parties’ marriage.

No. They cannot and must remain impartial – even if they are an attorney-mediator. In their role as an unbiased, neutral third party, they must not provide legal advice.

You can learn more about the differences between divorce mediation and divorce lawyers in this post.

Yes. As a professionally trained mediator with more than 25 years of experience, I’ve found that couples can reach agreement when both parties are willing to engage in good-faith negotiations and approach the process with an openness to compromise.

What often surprises couples is that they actually agree on more than they realize. When emotions are running high, it’s natural to focus on points of conflict while overlooking areas where they’re in lock step. Sometimes, couples don’t even recognize when they’re in agreement until I point it out – which makes sense given that communication difficulties are a common cause of divorce.

People who choose mediation typically want to keep things peaceful. And it’s this shared goal that already creates common ground. When you explain to them what will happen if they don’t reach agreement in mediation – i.e. they’ll be forced into a more contentious divorce process – they’re more likely to compromise and reach agreement.

In my experience, when couples participate together in mediation, and have to look each other in the eye when they make an offer, it becomes harder to propose unfair solutions.

Divorce mediation costs vary depending on the skill level and experience of the mediator, scope of services included and case complexities. If you’re wondering about the cost of divorce mediation, you might be focusing on the mediator’s hourly rate, or in our case, flat-fee. But there are a number of other equally, if not more important factors contributing to the overall cost of divorce mediation.

One is the mediator’s experience. You may be thinking naturally, a more experience a mediator has a higher fee. But that’s not what we’re talking about. An experienced mediator is going to be sure to cover present and known and potential future issues. This way, you’ll likely avoid having to return to mediation (or worse yet, court) and spend more money down the line when circumstances change.

It’s expensive (and stressful) to try to resolve a missed issue and modify your divorce decree, so the more thorough your agreement is at the time of your divorce will be a cost-avoidance for you in the future.

Another factor attributed to cost is the services included in the mediation. For example, some Seattle mediators like us offer divorce coaching for emotional support, while other mediators don’t. Or whether the mediator drafts a thorough written agreement, or a simple agreement that would need to be re-written by an attorney at an additional cost to you. And some mediators may even require each spouse to hire an attorney to review their agreement, while others who believe in the power of self-determination, don’t.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for what you think is a low fee, but once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by an attorney, or potentially another $10,000- $20,000 in the future to resolve missed issues.

Or you can choose an experienced mediator who might have a higher fee, but who will provide a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on present and anticipated future issues, which in turn, will save you a lot of money in the long run.

Each mediator has their own mediation fee structure, but the average cost of divorce mediation in Washington State is between $6,000 to $10,000

Because we develop a customized mediation plan for each couple, based on their unique needs and circumstances, fees for our divorce mediation services vary. But even the most complex cases cost a fraction of traditional litigation using family law attorneys or collaborative law process.

Mediation is a feasible option if:

  • You and your spouse are both ready to take part in a good faith and transparent negotiation which requires full financial disclosure;
  • There is some level of mutual respect between you and your spouse and you’re both ready to actively participate – this is because mediation is a voluntary process and will only work if you are both committed to it;
  • You would like to have an experienced professional mediator help you identify, discuss and negotiate the required divorce issues, but you want full control over your divorce agreement and want to make your own decisions.

If one of you wants to mediate, but one of you does not, unfortunately, mediation will not be an option in your case.

While both the divorce mediation and arbitration processes involve gathering information, working with multiple parties, and conversations taking place between the participants and a third-party, there is one significant difference between them.

In arbitration, the solution to the parties’ disagreement is decided by the involved third-party arbitrator like a private judge in what’s known as a settlement conference. Whereas mediators believe the solution to the parties disagreement lies with them, and mediator helps the parties come to agreements on their own in one or more negotiation sessions.

We feel divorce mediation is a better ADR (alternative dispute resolution) alternative than arbitration, as it empowers the parties to make the decisions that are in their mutual best interest. Rather than allowing a total stranger to make decisions for them that may or may not work in their particular case.

Shuttle mediation is where the mediator would help the two spouses resolve the relevant issues (parenting plan, child support, alimony, division of assets and liabilities, etc.) without both of them being present in the same room, or on the same Zoom call.

Shuttle mediation can be useful in cases with special circumstances (where two parties truly do wish to mediate, but they are unwilling or unable to be in the same room at the same time, such as with domestic violence). However we prefer direct negotiations – working with both spouses at the same time, as we have found this breeds more trust among the parties. Therefore, we do not perform shuttle mediation.

There is no requirement in Washington State for a mediator to be licensed or certified. That means anyone can call themselves Washington State mediators. And while that may be a positive in that it can provide divorcing couples alternatives to the adversarial legal system, it’s critically important to ensure that the mediator you choose has the proper skills and experience to guide you through your divorce in Washington State.

It’s not uncommon for attorneys to call themselves a “divorce mediation lawyer” or a “mediation attorney” as they feel attending law school or understanding family law issues also qualifies them to be divorce mediators. But in our opinion, litigating or advocating for one party is an entirely different skill set than acting as a neutral third party and assisting both parties towards fair and equitable resolution.

Learn more about how to find a good mediator.

A mediator will draft what’s known as a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which contains all of the agreements the parties made with regards to items that affect their family such as parenting time and decision-making, child support, spousal maintenance and property division.

After mediation is completed, the agreements outlined in the MOU are then formally drafted by a qualified professional into a legally binding document known as the Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA), which is signed by the parties and is one of the (many) legal documents that are submitted to the court to finalize the parties’ dissolution of marriage.

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout the Seattle metropolitan area from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Seattle, Bellevue, Kent, Everett, Renton, Federal Way, Kirkland, Auburn, Redmond, Shoreline, Bothell, Burien, Lynnwood, Edmonds, Puyallup, Sammamish, Lacey, Marysville, Issaquah, Tukwila, Mercer Island, Des Moines, and SeaTac.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

  • Physical and legal custody
  • Spousal support (alimony) and child support
  • Equitable distribution and community property division
  • Business ownership
  • Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

  • Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
  • Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
  • Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
  • Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
  • Spousal support and asset division mediation
  • Divorce coaching and emotional support
  • Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

  • 98% case resolution rate
  • Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
  • Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
  • Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
  • Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

  • California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
  • New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
  • Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
  • New York: NYC, Long Island
  • Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
  • Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

Related Resources

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    Alimony in California: A Divorce Mediator’s Complete Guide to Navigating Spousal Support

    Find out how alimony in California works and how you can prevent your spousal support negotiation (and divorce) from turning into a disaster!

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    New Jersey Alimony Guide: How Spousal Support is Really Calculated

    Determining alimony in NJ is very challenging. Learn what you need to know about this complex topic and how to get a fair alimony agreement.

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    New York Alimony Negotiations: a Guide to Spousal Support Settlements

    Despite the use of a formula, agreeing on New York alimony is still difficult! Find out what you need to know and how to best resolve it.