As a divorce mediator in Washington state, I’ve helped lots of couples just like you and your spouse navigate the complex waters of property division, and here’s what I’ve learned over the years: clients don’t know as much as they think they do!

To help you understand more about how community property works in Washington state, I’ll cover:

  • Basic concepts of community property.
  • How property is classified and divided.
  • Special situations that need careful attention.
  • Why mediation can help you achieve the best outcome.

I’ve even included some real-world mediation client snapshots that further explain the answer or concept. Oh, and don’t worry – I’ve changed the names and identifying details of the clients that appear in this post for confidentiality purposes, but the situations are all very real. Ready to dive in?

Is Washington a community property state?

Yes, Washington is absolutely a community property state. This means when you get married in Washington, you’re creating what the law calls a “marital community.” Think of it as forming a financial partnership where most of the property acquired during the marriage belongs equally to both partners – even if only one spouse’s name is on the paperwork.

Understanding property classifications

What exactly is community property?

Community property includes:

  • Your income and savings from that income (including each spouse’s earnings during marriage).
  • Real estate purchased during your marriage (even if only one spouse’s name is on the deed).
  • Vehicles, boats, or other major purchases made during marriage.
  • Retirement accounts and pension benefits earned during the marriage.
  • Business or real property interests developed or acquired while married.
  • Investment accounts and stock options earned during marriage.

It’s important to note that community property isn’t just about assets – it includes community debts too. Credit card debt, bills, car loans, and mortgages are typically considered shared responsibilities in Washington, regardless of whose name is on the account.

What is separate property?

Separate property generally includes everything you owned before getting married, plus a few special categories of property you might acquire during marriage. One spouse’s separate property typically includes:

  • Assets you owned before marriage.
  • Inheritances received by just one spouse (even during marriage).
  • Gifts given specifically to one spouse.
  • Property purchased with separate funds that were carefully kept separate.
  • Personal injury settlements (in most cases).
  • Any community asset or debt agreed to be one party’s separate property (provided there’s a written agreement).

What is quasi-community property?

Quasi-community property can take a few forms, such as property owned by non-married couples. But since we’re talking about community property and divorce, here’s a more applicable example of the concept.

Let’s say you and your spouse lived in Illinois (which isn’t a community property state) for ten years before moving to Washington. During those years in Illinois, your spouse’s name alone was on the title to your family home (which you continue to own as a rental property) and on their retirement accounts. In Illinois, those assets may be considered separate property had you remained living there and gotten divorced. But in Washington, those assets would have been considered community property if you had acquired them here – despite whose name is on the paperwork.

That’s where quasi-community property comes in — it allows Washington to treat those assets as if they had been acquired in Washington, giving both spouses fair consideration in their property division.

Client Snapshots:

Developing options for unvested options

Michael Thompson (52) and Sarah Thompson (48) were married for 15 years and had no children. Michael worked as a software engineer, earning $190,000 annually. In the year of their divorce, he received substantial stock options with a 3-year vesting period. Sarah was self-employed as an interior designer, earning $70,000 annually.

Sarah believed the stock options were community property since Michael received them during their marriage. However, Michael argued they were separate property, because they would vest after the divorce and had no current value.

With our help they agreed to share equally in any net proceeds – should they come into the money - from any stock options Michael received during the marriage which vested. While any stock options Michael received after the divorce would remain solely his for the purposes of property division. But any income realized from future options would be counted as income for the purposes of determining maintenance paid.

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Joe Dillon | Divorce Mediator & Founder

Taming transmutation in property division

James Wilson (42) owned a house in Bellevue for 5 years before marrying Emily Wilson (41). During their 12-year marriage, they both contributed to mortgage payments, renovations, and maintenance but never put Emily’s name on the deed.

James thought because the home was titled exclusively to him, and he owned it prior to marriage, that he would retain full value of the home. But through their collective contributions, what started as James's separate property had partially "transmuted" into community property.

In mediation we helped James and Emily negotiate and agree on, a value for Emily’s contributions during their marriage. Which would ultimately become her share of their marital home in the couple’s community property division. And while the calculations are far too complex to get into here, this is where working with a mediator with a finance background can really come in handy.

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Joe Dillon | Divorce Mediator & Founder

Equitable doesn’t always mean equal

David Martinez (45) and Lisa Ronaldo (43) had been married for 10 years and had a 7-year-old son Miguel. While married they purchased both a condo in Seattle and a vacation home in Leavenworth.

During mediation they got both properties appraised, and decided Lisa would keep their family home in Seattle (appraised at $850,000) while David would keep the vacation property in Leavenworth (appraised at $775,000).

David was more the outdoorsy type and enjoyed his time in the Cascade Mountains, while Lisa was the parent with the majority of physical custody and wanted to keep Miguel in the only house he’s ever known. Even though their total share of community property wasn’t equal, they both felt this was a fair division that met their individual needs.

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Joe Dillon | Divorce Mediator & Founder

The role of legal professionals in property division

When dividing assets during a divorce, some couples may choose to work with family law attorneys who will decide each party’s community property interest and how it’s divided. However, as a mediator, I often find that couples can achieve a fair distribution of their marital assets and debts more efficiently and cost-effectively through mediation than through an attorney-driven divorce or traditional litigation.

While both approaches can lead to a fair and equitable distribution of property, mediation typically offers more flexibility in how your marital property is divided. Instead of having a third-party stranger dictate the terms, you and your spouse work together to create a community property agreement that reflects your unique circumstances. And does so in a fraction of the time, and for a fraction of the cost versus you each hiring a law firm to represent you and litigate!

Important concepts in property division

When does community property end in Washington state?

Community property rights generally continue until the date of separation, which is typically (but not always) when one spouse files for divorce or legal separation and communicates their intent to end the marriage and takes action to do so. This isn’t always as clear-cut as people think – sleeping in separate rooms or privately considering divorce doesn’t automatically establish a date of separation. In mediation, we work to establish this date right away as the legal date of separation can (and will) significantly impact property division.

Understanding debts in property division

While clients certainly like to talk about the assets that need to be divided, unfortunately for them, debts acquired during marriage must also be addressed. While community debts are typically shared equally unless otherwise agreed to by the parties, separate debt (debt acquired before marriage or through separate property) usually remains the responsibility of the individual spouse. However, when dividing assets and debts, we in mediation (or the Washington courts if you choose to litigate) consider each spouse’s economic circumstances to ensure a fair division of both assets and obligations.

Is Washington a 50/50 divorce state?

While Washington is a community property state, this doesn’t mean every single item of community property needs to be divided exactly 50/50 or that more property must go to one spouse over the other. What it really comes down to is the method you use to get your divorce and what you both think is fair.

On the one hand, were you to both hire attorneys and litigate your divorce proceedings, there’s an excellent chance that a judge decides you should share everything equally.

But in mediation, Washington couples decide if the overall division of community property is fair and equitable. Sometimes, this equitable division does result in a 50/50 split. Whereas other times it means one person keeps certain assets while the other gets assets of similar (but not necessarily equal) value.

Understanding property transformation

Let’s now understand what property we need to focus on in your divorce. The key is knowing the difference between community property and separate property. Why? Because only community property will be divided during the divorce process. Let me explain some basic concepts that will help you understand how we make these distinctions.

Can a spouse’s separate property become community property?

Yes! This is called transmutation, and it can happen in several ways:

  • Adding your spouse’s name to a deed or account.
  • Using community funds to pay for separate property expenses.
  • Mixing separate and community funds in the same account (called “commingling”).

In cases such as these, you’ve “converted” separate property into community property and by doing so, have made it a part of your divorce negotiations whether you realized it or not.

What is split characterization?

Split characterization is exactly what it sounds like — when a single piece of property has both separate and community property components. This happens more often than you might think, and it’s one of those concepts that are much clearer with an example.

Let’s say you were making payments on your condo for five years before getting married. After marriage, you continued making payments for another ten years using money earned during the marriage. This condo would have a split characterization — part separate property (representing your equity before marriage) and part community property (representing the equity built during marriage from community funds).

How does tracing work?

Think of tracing like following a trail of breadcrumbs through your financial history. It’s how we track where money came from and where it went, especially when we need to figure out if something is separate or community property.

I common example I often use goes something like this: imagine you had $50,000 in a savings account before marriage (separate property), and you used that money to make a down payment on a house during your marriage. To maintain your separate property claim on that portion of the house’s value, you’d need to be able to “trace” that $50,000 from your pre-marriage account all the way to the house purchase.

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Special situations when dividing property in a Washington state divorce

Are inheritances community property?

Inheritances are typically not considered community property in Washington state, even if you receive them during marriage. However (and this is important), how you handle that inheritance can affect whether it stays separate property.

For example, if you inherit $100,000 and keep it in a separate bank account that only you use, it remains your separate, personal property. But if you deposit that inheritance into a joint account with your spouse and use it to pay for family expenses, it might become community property through transmutation / commingling.

Who gets the house in a Washington divorce?

One of the most emotionally charged questions in any divorce is what happens to the family house. In my years as a mediator, I’ve found that the answer depends on your unique situation and several key factors we need to consider together.

First, we need to determine whether the house is community or separate property. This affects what options are available to you. We also need to think about any children involved – maintaining stability for kids is often a top priority in these decisions, especially when child support is a factor. Another crucial factor is whether either spouse can realistically afford to keep the house, considering mortgage payments, maintenance costs, and other expenses. Finally, we look at what other assets and debts are available that might be used to offset the house’s value.

When it comes to the family home, I’ve helped couples find several creative solutions. Many choose to sell the house and split the proceeds – while this is often the cleanest solution, it’s not always what works best for everyone. Another common approach is to get the property valued and for one spouse to buy out the other spouse’s interest, which can work well if there are enough assets or financing available to make it happen. Some couples, especially those with children, opt for a deferred sale arrangement where they continue co-ownership for a set period, often until their children graduate from high school. And sometimes, we can arrange a trade-off where one spouse keeps the house in exchange for other assets of similar value.

How do support payments affect property division?

When working through property division, it’s important to consider how spousal maintenance (alimony as it’s commonly called) might impact the overall settlement. The division of assets and debts often interplays with support obligations, as one spouse’s economic circumstances may affect their ability to maintain their standard of living post-divorce. A fair division of property which has a couple’s property divided in a “fair but not necessarily equal” manner, might help reduce or eliminate the need for ongoing spousal maintenance in some cases. In mediation we call this a lump sum alimony buyout.

How are business interests handled?

Business ownership often presents unique challenges in property division. If you or your spouse owns a business, we need to consider several factors. We’ll look at when the business was started – was it before the marriage or during? We’ll examine how much the business grew during your marriage, and whether both spouses contributed to its success, either directly or indirectly. These factors help us determine what portion of the business is community property and how to fairly address it in your property division.

What about retirement accounts?

Remember before when we talked about split characterization? Retirement accounts are a prime example of this. While the portion of retirement benefits earned during your marriage is considered community property, any portion earned before marriage remains separate. This often leads to some complex calculations, and couples will typically need to use a special court order called a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to divide these accounts properly without triggering unnecessary taxes or penalties.

How do taxes impact our divorce settlement?

While transfers between spouses during divorce are usually tax-free, there are still important tax implications to consider. For instance, if you’re selling property, you’ll need to think about potential capital gains taxes. When dividing retirement accounts, we need to carefully consider how future distributions will be taxed. Understanding these tax implications helps us make more informed decisions about how to divide your property fairly.

Why is mediation your best option for a fair property division agreement?

When negotiating property division in a Washington divorce, you have several options available to you: you could litigate in court, negotiate through attorneys, or work with a mediator. After years of helping couples through this process, I’ve seen firsthand how mediation consistently produces the most satisfying results for both parties.

Mediation puts you in the driver’s seat of your divorce. Instead of leaving crucial decisions about your future in the hands of a judge who doesn’t know your family’s unique situation, you and your spouse work together to create solutions that make sense for both of you. This control over the outcome often leads to arrangements that work better in the real world than court-imposed solutions. After all, who knows better what’s in your mutual best interest than the two of you?

The practical benefits of mediation are significant as well. The process typically costs far less than litigation, and we can usually reach agreements much faster than going through the court system. Call it two to three months versus two to three years! But perhaps more importantly, mediation’s collaborative nature helps preserve relationships – something that’s especially crucial when you have children together or shared business interests that will continue after divorce.

I’ve found that couples who go through mediation tend to be more satisfied with their property division in the long run. This makes sense when you think about it – rather than having a solution imposed on them, they’ve actively participated in creating arrangements that work for their specific situation. This ownership of the process often leads to better compliance with agreements and fewer post-divorce disputes.

Final thoughts

Understanding community property in Washington state doesn’t have to be overwhelming. While the legal framework can seem complex, working with an experienced mediator can help you navigate the process efficiently, create fair and lasting agreements, save money compared to litigation, maintain better relationships, and achieve outcomes that work for everyone.

Remember, while Washington law provides a framework for property division, you and your spouse have the power to create a division plan that works for your unique situation. Through mediation, you can develop creative approaches that address both parties’ needs while ensuring compliance with Washington state law. Whether you’re dealing with complex assets or simple property division, mediation provides a path to resolution that’s typically faster, less expensive, and more satisfying than going to court.

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Guide to Divorce Mediation in Washington State

In Washington State divorce mediation is a confidential process and may either be conducted using the family law court-supported Washington State Dispute Resolution Center (DRC), or conducted privately by working with Seattle divorce mediators like us.

While both the DRC and private mediators provide mediation services, and remain neutral throughout the proceedings, the DRC may not be best equipped to handle the complexities that most divorcing clients typically have.

There are three major differences between court-supported mediation and private mediation in

First, when mediation is court-supported, you don’t get to choose your mediator like you would with private mediation. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with.

Second, the mediators may be less experienced than private mediators. The only requirement to become a court-supported mediator in Seattle is to take a 40-hour mediation training class. So many new mediators get their start this way and have little or no real-world experience.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-supported mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

In our opinion, it’s always better to hire a private mediator to handle your divorce case.

Third, if your situation is complex, a court-appointed mediator may not have the experience to handle unique issues like yours. In that case, not only will you have wasted your time, but you and your spouse may find yourselves even farther from agreement.

Finally, private mediation is not mandated by a judge. The couple forgoes the attorney-driven path to divorce and instead chooses to mediate. So if you and your spouse both agree to use mediation, you’ll hire a private divorce mediator like us, typically before you file for divorce. We would then help you identify, discuss, negotiate and reach an amicable agreement through mediation on all of the required issues, confidentially and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you choose).

In our opinion, mediation is always better when conducted privately.

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you and  your spouse prepare for mediation by:

  • Developing a framework for your negotiations;
  • Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
  • Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
  • Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
  • And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help the two of you and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to the mediator the pre-work and discovery items required, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions depend greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to offer possible solutions, help you explore and negotiate each option, and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will each be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyer, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, along with a host of other related King County court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to use to have your divorce filed with the court.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce will be granted by a judge in 90 days as there is a waiting period in Washington State.

Our mediation process is very efficient and can be completed in a fraction of the time that a litigated divorce or collaborative law process would take.

Mediation can help couples navigate divorce more peacefully and efficiently, without the cost and stress of lengthy court battles. This confidential process allows the parties to work together in a supportive environment, focusing on finding solutions that work for everyone involved. Rather than leaving decisions to a judge, parties decide their own outcome, which often leads to more satisfying and lasting agreements.

Through mediation, we help the parties reach common ground on important issues like property division, parenting arrangements, and financial matters. The flexible nature of mediation makes it possible to explore creative solutions that might not be available in traditional court proceedings. Because you maintain control of the process, you’re often able to reach agreements that better reflect your family’s unique needs.

Given our extensive experience, we’re able to help nearly all of our mediation cases settle successfully, helping minimize both emotional and financial stress. By choosing mediation, couples can work toward resolution without getting caught up in the adversarial court system, preserving important relationships and setting a positive tone for future interactions, especially when children are involved.

While we always hope couples choose to mediate their separation or divorce, divorce mediation is a voluntary process. In our experience, what typically happens is there’s one spouse who is familiar with mediation, and one who is not. To help your spouse, we encourage you to direct them to our comprehensive options for divorce guide and to learn more about the benefits of choosing mediation.

There is no requirement in Seattle, King County or Washington State that parties have to retain a lawyer as involving attorneys is a matter of personal choice. While some clients choose to hire a Seattle family law attorney to review their settlement agreement (known as a Memorandum of Understanding in mediation) or provide legal advice during or after the mediation process, others explicitly choose to divorce without the involvement of lawyers. If you’d like the perspective of a divorce lawyer on a one or more family law matters, you are encouraged to do so.

No! In fact, many couples specifically wait for the mediator to help them reach a settlement. This way, they can make certain all of the necessary issues will be covered fully – in the appropriate order and given the attention and time required.

While we can’t speak for all King County mediators, for us the answer is yes. We’ve successfully mediated divorce for employees of numerous King County employers including Amazon, Boeing, Kirkland, Microsoft, Shopify, and U of Washington among many others. Given the types of compensation these employers typically offer their employees, most of our cases have a high degree of complexity including complicated compensation such as stock options and restricted stock units, along with other variable compensation components like bonuses and commissions, as well as deferred compensation packages including pensions. We are also well versed in divorces involving a business, high assets, divorce after long-term marriage, and grey divorce.

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While the goal of both of these divorce options is to help couples avoid court, there are significant ways they differ from the number of professionals involved, the cost, the timing, among many other factors. You can learn more in our post: Divorce Mediation Versus Collaborative Law Process.

Mediators come from a variety of different backgrounds. Some are attorney mediators, so they may refer to themselves as a “divorce mediation attorney” or “divorce mediation lawyer.” Some are mental health professionals. While others, like Equitable Mediation founder, Joe Dillon, have a financial background.

While the terms can sometimes be used interchangeably, “family law mediation” is the broader of the two. For example, family law mediation may be used to help non-married Washington parents make decisions on and resolve issues of child custody. In this case, since they were never married, there would be no “divorce” in the mediation process.

While any topic involving the family may be brought to resolution using a family law mediator, divorce mediation refers to a specific alternative dispute resolution process focused on ending the parties’ marriage.

No. They cannot and must remain impartial – even if they are an attorney-mediator. In their role as an unbiased, neutral third party, they must not provide legal advice.

You can learn more about the differences between divorce mediation and divorce lawyers in this post.

Yes. As a professionally trained mediator with more than 25 years of experience, I’ve found that couples can reach agreement when both parties are willing to engage in good-faith negotiations and approach the process with an openness to compromise.

What often surprises couples is that they actually agree on more than they realize. When emotions are running high, it’s natural to focus on points of conflict while overlooking areas where they’re in lock step. Sometimes, couples don’t even recognize when they’re in agreement until I point it out – which makes sense given that communication difficulties are a common cause of divorce.

People who choose mediation typically want to keep things peaceful. And it’s this shared goal that already creates common ground. When you explain to them what will happen if they don’t reach agreement in mediation – i.e. they’ll be forced into a more contentious divorce process – they’re more likely to compromise and reach agreement.

In my experience, when couples participate together in mediation, and have to look each other in the eye when they make an offer, it becomes harder to propose unfair solutions.

Divorce mediation costs vary depending on the skill level and experience of the mediator, scope of services included and case complexities. If you’re wondering about the cost of divorce mediation, you might be focusing on the mediator’s hourly rate, or in our case, flat-fee. But there are a number of other equally, if not more important factors contributing to the overall cost of divorce mediation.

One is the mediator’s experience. You may be thinking naturally, a more experience a mediator has a higher fee. But that’s not what we’re talking about. An experienced mediator is going to be sure to cover present and known and potential future issues. This way, you’ll likely avoid having to return to mediation (or worse yet, court) and spend more money down the line when circumstances change.

It’s expensive (and stressful) to try to resolve a missed issue and modify your divorce decree, so the more thorough your agreement is at the time of your divorce will be a cost-avoidance for you in the future.

Another factor attributed to cost is the services included in the mediation. For example, some Seattle mediators like us offer divorce coaching for emotional support, while other mediators don’t. Or whether the mediator drafts a thorough written agreement, or a simple agreement that would need to be re-written by an attorney at an additional cost to you. And some mediators may even require each spouse to hire an attorney to review their agreement, while others who believe in the power of self-determination, don’t.

You can work with an inexperienced mediator for what you think is a low fee, but once mediation is completed, spend another few thousand dollars to have your agreement re-written by an attorney, or potentially another $10,000- $20,000 in the future to resolve missed issues.

Or you can choose an experienced mediator who might have a higher fee, but who will provide a more thorough service, written agreement, and resolution on present and anticipated future issues, which in turn, will save you a lot of money in the long run.

Each mediator has their own mediation fee structure, but the average cost of divorce mediation in Washington State is between $6,000 to $10,000

Because we develop a customized mediation plan for each couple, based on their unique needs and circumstances, fees for our divorce mediation services vary. But even the most complex cases cost a fraction of traditional litigation using family law attorneys or collaborative law process.

Mediation is a feasible option if:

  • You and your spouse are both ready to take part in a good faith and transparent negotiation which requires full financial disclosure;
  • There is some level of mutual respect between you and your spouse and you’re both ready to actively participate – this is because mediation is a voluntary process and will only work if you are both committed to it;
  • You would like to have an experienced professional mediator help you identify, discuss and negotiate the required divorce issues, but you want full control over your divorce agreement and want to make your own decisions.

If one of you wants to mediate, but one of you does not, unfortunately, mediation will not be an option in your case.

While both the divorce mediation and arbitration processes involve gathering information, working with multiple parties, and conversations taking place between the participants and a third-party, there is one significant difference between them.

In arbitration, the solution to the parties’ disagreement is decided by the involved third-party arbitrator like a private judge in what’s known as a settlement conference. Whereas mediators believe the solution to the parties disagreement lies with them, and mediator helps the parties come to agreements on their own in one or more negotiation sessions.

We feel divorce mediation is a better ADR (alternative dispute resolution) alternative than arbitration, as it empowers the parties to make the decisions that are in their mutual best interest. Rather than allowing a total stranger to make decisions for them that may or may not work in their particular case.

Shuttle mediation is where the mediator would help the two spouses resolve the relevant issues (parenting plan, child support, alimony, division of assets and liabilities, etc.) without both of them being present in the same room, or on the same Zoom call.

Shuttle mediation can be useful in cases with special circumstances (where two parties truly do wish to mediate, but they are unwilling or unable to be in the same room at the same time, such as with domestic violence). However we prefer direct negotiations – working with both spouses at the same time, as we have found this breeds more trust among the parties. Therefore, we do not perform shuttle mediation.

There is no requirement in Washington State for a mediator to be licensed or certified. That means anyone can call themselves Washington State mediators. And while that may be a positive in that it can provide divorcing couples alternatives to the adversarial legal system, it’s critically important to ensure that the mediator you choose has the proper skills and experience to guide you through your divorce in Washington State.

It’s not uncommon for attorneys to call themselves a “divorce mediation lawyer” or a “mediation attorney” as they feel attending law school or understanding family law issues also qualifies them to be divorce mediators. But in our opinion, litigating or advocating for one party is an entirely different skill set than acting as a neutral third party and assisting both parties towards fair and equitable resolution.

Learn more about how to find a good mediator.

A mediator will draft what’s known as a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) which contains all of the agreements the parties made with regards to items that affect their family such as parenting time and decision-making, child support, spousal maintenance and property division.

After mediation is completed, the agreements outlined in the MOU are then formally drafted by a qualified professional into a legally binding document known as the Marital Settlement Agreement (MSA), which is signed by the parties and is one of the (many) legal documents that are submitted to the court to finalize the parties’ dissolution of marriage.

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout the Seattle metropolitan area from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Seattle, Bellevue, Kent, Everett, Renton, Federal Way, Kirkland, Auburn, Redmond, Shoreline, Bothell, Burien, Lynnwood, Edmonds, Puyallup, Sammamish, Lacey, Marysville, Issaquah, Tukwila, Mercer Island, Des Moines, and SeaTac.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

  • Physical and legal custody
  • Spousal support (alimony) and child support
  • Equitable distribution and community property division
  • Business ownership
  • Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

  • Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
  • Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
  • Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
  • Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
  • Spousal support and asset division mediation
  • Divorce coaching and emotional support
  • Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

  • 98% case resolution rate
  • Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
  • Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
  • Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
  • Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

  • California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
  • New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
  • Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
  • New York: NYC, Long Island
  • Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
  • Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

Related Resources

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    Alimony in California: A Divorce Mediator’s Complete Guide to Navigating Spousal Support

    Find out how alimony in California works and how you can prevent your spousal support negotiation (and divorce) from turning into a disaster!

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    New Jersey Alimony Guide: How Spousal Support is Really Calculated

    Determining alimony in NJ is very challenging. Learn what you need to know about this complex topic and how to get a fair alimony agreement.

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    New York Alimony Negotiations: a Guide to Spousal Support Settlements

    Despite the use of a formula, agreeing on New York alimony is still difficult! Find out what you need to know and how to best resolve it.