Whether it’s parenting struggles, managing finances or handling of money, digital-age issues, career conflicts or job relocation, sharing of household responsibilities, or general communication patterns…
You’re just not on the same page.
It seems you either avoid discussing these issues, or when you try to, it leads to endless cycles of heated arguments, where neither of you feels heard, and nothing is resolved. Leaving you both feeling angry, frustrated, and disconnected, while your marriage continues to deteriorate.
If this sounds familiar, perhaps you’ve thought to see a couples counselor.
Smart move!
But what if your spouse just won’t agree to go because they don’t believe in it, think it’ll work, or want to “be in therapy?”
Or…
The two of you have been going to counseling, but after months, years, or multiple therapists, there’s been no progress or resolution in sight. Making you wonder if you’re headed for divorce, or doomed to spend the rest of your life unhappily married!
You love your partner and want to make it work. But you just feel like you’re out of options and don’t know where to go from here…
What is marriage mediation?
Marriage mediation is a non-adversarial, voluntary, practical, future-focused, and solutions-oriented approach to resolving marital conflict. It’s designed for couples who are experiencing marriage problems, and would prefer to stay together, increase happiness in their relationship, and avoid divorce.
The couple works with third-party, neutral marriage mediators who use dispute resolution techniques to help them resolve their typical, but solvable marital problems in a constructive way. While teaching them skills to enable them to problem solve their own solutions to any conflicts that arise in the future.
Whether a couple needs to resolve a specific marital issue or simply wants to increase their overall relationship satisfaction, the goal of marital mediation is to help them remain married and become happily married again.
What marital issues can be resolved with the help of a marriage mediator?
There are many marital issues that can be resolved with the help of a marriage mediator. These issues will vary in complexity based on a couple’s unique situation and may include, but is not limited to:
- Parenting styles / roles and responsibilities;
- General household financial management such as budgeting / spending habits / bill payment;
- Responsibilities for household chores / upkeep;
- Asset acquisition, and ownership modification;
- Debt acquisition, consolidation, and responsibility;
- Relocation for personal or professional reasons;
- Work-life balance and technology use;
- Holidays and other extended family issues.
Marriage mediation services are designed to resolve a variety of conflicts and marital disputes.
Most anything causing friction in a marriage can usually be resolved in marriage mediation if the parties (both spouses) are committed to the process, and are willing to negotiate and abide by an agreement they create with the help of the marriage mediator(s).
Is Marriage mediation the same thing as marriage counseling?
No! Marriage mediation is not the same as marriage counseling.
- Marriage counseling is practiced by a mental health professional who uses therapeutic analysis and insights.
- Marital mediation is conducted by a mediator who uses conflict resolution techniques.
How does the marital mediation process work?
Each marriage mediator will have his/her own approach, style and process. But the marital mediation process commonly begins with an initial strategy session to identify and set goals for the specific marital problems and issues a couple wants to resolve.
In subsequent meetings, a skilled mediator will:
- Actively guide you and your spouse through a series of facilitated discussions surrounding all the previously identified issues to be resolved;
- Use a variety of techniques during your mediation sessions to help you and your spouse better communicate, understand each other’s interests, and negotiate the areas of conflict and marital difficulties;
- Formulate ideas, brainstorm options, and work with you to develop mutually-agreeable, concrete, actionable solutions;
- Teach you skills to enable you to problem solve your own solutions to any new conflicts that arise in the future;
- Once mediated agreements are reached, the mediator will draft a document called a Memorandum of Understanding which outlines what you and your spouse have agreed to. The MOU can be used to remind you of your agreements, guide your actions moving forward, and if you desire and depending on the type of issues resolved, be used to create a binding agreement between you (with the assistance of attorneys).
- Follow-up / maintenance sessions may also be held as check-ins to ensure each of you are continuing to uphold your end of the agreements you made.
How long does marital mediation take?
A marital conflict resolution process can vary in duration, depending on the number and complexity of the issues, and the willingness of the parties to actively participate, negotiate and come to agreement.
But overall, marriage mediation is designed to be short-term, future-focused and solutions-oriented!
What if we are currently seeing a marriage counselor?
Marital mediation is not and cannot take the place of counseling obtained from a licensed therapist or mental health provider and some couples find it helpful to engage in both marriage counseling and marital mediation simultaneously.
That being said, sometimes, a wife or husband refuses marriage counseling, but is still willing to work on the relationship.
So marriage mediation can be a good option for how to fix a broken marriage without counseling.
Are there circumstances when marriage mediation is not appropriate?
Marriage mediation services are not appropriate if:
- Your marriage has issues with domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health issues, or infidelity.
- One party wants to save the marriage, but the other party wants to divorce.
- One or both parties are unwilling to engage in a good faith negotiation, for which full disclosure and transparency is required.
It’s not uncommon if you’ve been struggling in a bad marriage for years. But it doesn’t need to continue. Marriage mediation may help you resolve your recurring conflicts, break your destructive cycles, and teach you cooperative problem-resolution. So you have new ways of interacting – and can work together and get better results moving forward!
To get your marriage back on track!
About the Authors – Divorce Mediators You Can Trust
Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided more than 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each of their interests and prioritizes their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.
At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve divorce’s financial, emotional, and practical issues peacefully and with dignity.
Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Negotiation Expert
As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:
- Physical and legal custody
- Spousal support (alimony) and child support
- Equitable distribution and community property division
- Business ownership
- Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs
Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.
He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.
Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Life Transitions Expert
Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.
Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through divorce’s emotional complexities compassionately.
Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage divorce’s challenges effectively. Because emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and future well-being of all involved.
What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation
Equitable Mediation provides:
- Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
- Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
- Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
- Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
- Spousal support and asset division mediation
- Divorce coaching and emotional support
- Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process
Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.
Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation
- 98% case resolution rate
- Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
- Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
- Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
- Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients
Equitable Mediation Services operates in:
- California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
- New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
- Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
- New York: NYC, Long Island
- Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
- Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County
Schedule a Free Info Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.
