As a parent getting a New York divorce, your children are bound to be your number one concern. And they should be. You love your kids and want the world for them. So now that you’re facing divorce, how do you make sure they get the financial support they need to live healthy and happy lives?

That’s where child support comes in.

But there’s a lot more to child support in New York than you might think.

What is the purpose of child support? And how is child support calculated in NY?

You might think the purpose of child support is to ensure that the financial needs of your children are being met by you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

But it’s important to understand that child support is about more than just money.

While it’s true that child support is designed to ensure your children’s financial well-being, that’s only half of it. Divorce is hard on your children. And the conflict and stress can take a toll on them. Soon you’ll no longer be husband and wife, but you’ll always be mom and dad.

Child support also shows your kids you still love them and care about their well-being, too.

There are a few things you need to know about the challenges of determining child support in NY state:

  • While there is a child support guideline, it’s not as comprehensive as it should be, it doesn’t include all the expenses required to raise a child, and it isn’t applicable in all situations.
  • Over the past two years, parents in New York have seen the consumer price index rise 14%, making the cost of raising children, in an already high cost-of-living area, even that much more difficult.
  • With mortgage interest rates continuing to remain unaffordable for most divorcing couples, combined with New York’s notoriously high real estate prices and property taxes, establishing two separate post-divorce households may require “creative financial cooperation” between divorcing parents.
  • This topic has less to do with family law and more to do with money, negotiation, and doing what’s best for your kids.
  • There is more than meets the eye on this issue and in the majority of cases, this subject is much too complex for you to try to resolve on your own.

That’s why you will get the best result by mediating with us.

"Most parents think there is a child support calculator that outputs a specific dollar amount for child support payments, and that’s that. But the reality is the guidelines are just a starting point for negotiations. Plus, there are a lot of "add-on" expenses not covered by the basic child support amount.

That's why the best way to come to a fair agreement and ensure your children get the financial support they need is to mediate your NY divorce and work with an experienced mediator like me so you can make decisions as parents that are in your children's best interests."

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Joe Dillon | Divorce Mediator & Founder

The child support guideline in New York is not as comprehensive as it should be.

The federal government requires all 50 states to have a systematic way by which to determine a basic child support obligation. So every state including New York has a child support guideline. But the way child support is determined varies from state to state.

Some states use a simple percentage-based formula. You’d simply take a share of the supporting party’s income and give it to the other party and you’re done. While other states are more comprehensive and attempt to factor in things like both of your incomes, the ages of your children, the number of overnights they spend with each of you, which one of you pays for their health insurance, who takes them as a tax deduction, and more.

But in New York, things work a bit differently.

Determining child support in New York is a very tricky proposition.

Let’s take a closer look at how child support is calculated in New York as the NY child support model doesn’t fit cleanly into either of the models described above. To begin, the guideline would calculate what each of your net incomes is. Well, it’s not really your net income, but rather, what the State of New York calls your net income.

I’m no CPA or accounting professional mind you, but the state of New York’s definition of net income doesn’t reduce your gross income by Federal taxes paid. Which last time I checked, that’s how most people do it… But not NY, I guess?

So once you have all that net income business all figured out, you now apply a percentage to the number you came up with in step one based on the number of children you’re trying to provide child support for.

The New York child support calculator percentages are as follows:

  • 17% for one child;
  • 25% for two children;
  • 29% for three children;
  • 31% for four children; and
  • No less than 35% for five or more children.

Assuming you can do some basic math, it seems that all you’d have to do is multiply the percentage in the table above with the net income number you came up with in step one and you’d be all set.

Right? I hate to break it to you, but it’s not that simple. Not even close. You see, the percentages shown above are only applied to the first $183,000 of combined net income (that is net income as defined by the State of New York’s standard in 2024) as that’s what the cap on the guideline says to do.

So what do you do if your incomes are above $183,000?” Well, that’s where things get even trickier.

Dealing with the NY child support cap

If you and your spouse do earn more than $183,000 per year in “net” income, one of two things could happen if you were to find yourselves in court.

The courts could either:

  • Use the formula we discussed above, applying the same percentage to your incomes that exceed $183,000 as was applied to your income that was below $183,000;
  • Use their own formula and randomly decide how much additional child support there will be; or
  • Not award any additional child support.

It’s truly anybody’s guess.

Whether or not there will be additional child support will be predicated on the following factors:

  • How much money you and your spouse have as well as how much money your children have;
  • Your children’s health from both a physical and emotional standpoint;
  • If your children have any special needs or show any special abilities that may require additional financial support;
  • What your children’s lives would have looked like were you and your spouse not to divorce;
  • The taxes you each pay;
  • Other contributions that are not financial in nature that each of you will make to your children;
  • If either of you wants to go to school and further your education;
  • If there’s a large disparity in your incomes; and
  • If there are any other children from a previous relationship that either of you is supporting.

You’ll notice most of these factors aren’t even financial in nature so how the courts will apply them is a mystery.

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A lot is left out of the NYS child support guidelines.

So far, you’ve learned the NY child support guidelines attempt to provide you with an amount of financial support needed to raise your children.

But even when you run the guidelines and go through all the steps mentioned above, there are still many other expenses that aren’t included in the basic child support amount.

In New York, there’s also something called “add-on child support.” This is in addition to your regular child support and child support on any income above the upper-income threshold.

These add-on expenses may include:

  • Child care costs;
  • Medical insurance premiums;
  • Unreimbursed medical expenses; and
  • Educational expenses; and
  • Non-recurring payments from extraordinary sources.

What the heck are non-recurring payments from extraordinary sources?

Good question! Non-recurring payments from extraordinary sources are expenses that you as parents incur but don’t fall neatly into any of the expenses explicitly mentioned above. Examples of non-recurring payments from extraordinary sources may include:

  • Guitar lessons;
  • Gymnastics;
  • Sleepaway camps;
  • Tablets and smartphones;
  • Prom dresses and tuxedos;
  • Auto insurance;
  • And lots more!

All of these items must be negotiated at the time of your divorce as there is no formulaic way to determine them.

Starting to see why determining child support is not as simple as using some free calculator you may have found on the Internet?

There are other exclusions to child support in New York.

In addition to the regular and add-on expenses associated with having a child, you and your spouse will also need to discuss and come to an agreement on:

  • Who deducts the children on their taxes;
  • Whether you have enough life insurance to cover the children’s expenses now and when they go off to college;
  • How college will be paid for;
  • The duration of child support payments in New York (because for some children, it may extend beyond the normal age of emancipation.)

Making the list of what isn’t addressed by the NY child support guidelines longer and longer!

The New York child support guidelines aren’t applicable in all situations.

For the NY child support guideline to be applied as-is, you and your spouse’s incomes must be predictable from month to month and year to year. So if one or both of you earn more of your compensation from bonuses, commissions, or stock options, the guidelines simply won’t work.

And as you learned, there’s an income cap of $183,000 in the 2024 guidelines.

Meaning if you and your spouse collectively earn more than that in a calendar year (and to live in New York City, chances are you do,) the guidelines won’t work “as-is.”

And you’ll have no choice in your case but to skip the guidelines and negotiate instead.

Which is not always so easy to do.

When the law gets involved, it’s a problem.

There’s something you need to understand here: In a litigated divorce, a judge determines child support payment in family court.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it?

Because they’ll dictate child support by court order and both spouses might wind up with something they don’t think is fair or that doesn’t appropriately meet the needs of their children.

That’s why it’s better to negotiate this issue out of family court and that’s exactly what mediation is all about.

In mediation, you get to decide as parents – and come to an agreement that puts your children first and you both agree is fair – out of New York court – instead of letting your future be decided by a stranger.

You’ll get the best child support result by mediating with us.

Child support issues will vary based on your situation and circumstances of your case. And as you’ve learned, there is more than meets the eye on this topic. So don’t risk putting your children’s financial future in jeopardy by trying to resolve child support payments on your own or with divorce attorneys in court.

Use divorce mediation and work with us instead!

Using our extensive financial expertise, we’ll help you and your spouse determine a child support number that accurately reflects your lives as parents and takes into account the specialized needs of your children.

One that covers all regular, add-on, and future expenses.

We’ll:

  • Talk about who your children are, what they like to do, and what it will take to make sure they’re getting what they need and deserve. Not just what the formula says you have to pay so they can “get by.”
  • Work through specialized cases like child support in which you share in the care of your children equally or almost equally because the time the children spend with each of you isn’t explicitly factored into the New York child support guideline.
  • Help you negotiate any issues of disagreement and create an agreement you both find fair and equitable as parents regarding the support of your children.
  • Make sure you and your spouse not only come to an agreement that you both find to be fair, but also one that minimizes tax issues, avoids penalties, and improves cash flow whenever possible in your case.

Because no two situations are alike.

Your children are unique and your child support agreement should reflect that, too.

Take your first step towards a peaceful divorce

Guide to Divorce Mediation in NYC

While some states have court-ordered mediation programs, in New York, mediation offered through the court is typically limited to issues of custody and decision-making responsibility. On the other hand, private mediation is not strictly limited to matters of custody and decision-making responsibility.

So in NYC, divorce mediation is primarily conducted outside of a courtroom by using a private divorce mediation service like ours – typically before filing for divorce. When working with us, we’ll help you and your spouse identify, discuss, negotiate, and resolve all of the necessary issues, privately, confidentially, and without the involvement of divorce lawyers (if you so choose).

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the divorce mediation process once you become our client:

Your mediation begins with a one-hour strategy session.

In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you both prepare for mediation by:

  • Developing a framework for your negotiations;
  • Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
  • Defining your goals for the divorce mediation process;
  • Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
  • And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This part of the mediation process is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to an agreement.

Once you’ve submitted to us the required pre-work and discovery items, the mediation process transitions to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions are determined by the two of you and Joe. Depending greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and reach agreement during the mediation on these topics.

Once agreement is reached for all required issues, Joe will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective divorce mediation lawyers, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related NYC court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which professional to use to have your divorce submitted to the court with.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce (decree) will be granted by a judge.

The role of the mediator is to serve as a neutral third party who helps couples navigate their divorce process in a constructive and cooperative way. The mediator facilitates discussion between spouses, ensuring both parties have the opportunity to express their needs and concerns in a safe, balanced environment.

Through structured sessions, the mediator can help them reach mutually acceptable agreements on issues like property division, support, and parenting arrangements. While mediators don’t make decisions for the couple or provide legal advice, the mediator assists the parties in decision making by presenting options and helping them explore potential solutions.

Additionally, the mediator can provide referrals to other professionals, such as attorneys, financial advisors, or therapists / counselors, when specialized expertise is needed. Mediation encourages couples to work toward fair, workable agreements, that are in their mutual best interest, while minimizing conflict and preserving their ability to communicate effectively.

Lawyers are not required for a divorce. Some individuals choose to speak with a divorce lawyer during or after mediation to get legal advice. However, others specifically choose to NOT involve attorneys in their divorce. This is your divorce, so if you’d like to get an attorney’s viewpoint on a particular issue(s), you are encouraged to do so.

There is a lot to know about divorce mediation, and how it compares to other dispute resolution methods. This post will help you understand in more detail the differences between mediators vs lawyers for divorce. And this post covers the differences between mediation and collaborative divorce (also referred to as collaborative law process).

While there are many reasons why couples getting divorced should mediate, these are the three most common.

They want control over the outcome. As the mediator does not make decisions for the couples he works with, spouses are in the best position to reach a mutually agreeable settlement on their terms.

They want to remain amicable. As mediation is based on mutual respect and constructive dialog, mediation helps keep the tenor of negotiations peaceful, leading to less animosity between divorcing spouses. Which is especially important if minor children are involved, and they will be interacting as co-parents in the future.

They want to save money. While estimates vary, the average Manhattan divorce lawyer’s retainer in 2024 was $10,000 per person. And as I’m sure you can guess the retainer is not all you’ll pay. Mediation is a fraction of that.

Although mediation can help most couples, it may not be appropriate in all situations. Mediation requires both parties to participate in good faith and be willing to compromise. Cases involving domestic violence, severe power imbalances, or inability to communicate effectively might be better suited for other divorce methods.

During our initial meeting, we can help assess whether mediation is the best path forward for your specific situation.

While there are many benefits of mediating your divorce, here are the most common ones cited by our client couples.

First, mediation can make a challenging time significantly easier to navigate as when working with us, our proven process will keep your negotiations productive, conversations respectful, and your outcome fair and equitable.

Second, instead of having lawyers or a judge decide your future, you and your spouse stay in control of the important decisions that will affect your lives.

And third, everything discussed stays confidential in a mediated divorce, giving you a safe, private space to work through sensitive topics. The mediation process encourages both of you to communicate openly, which often leads to solutions that genuinely work for everyone involved.

That’s really what, in our opinion, sets mediation apart – it focuses on finding mutually beneficial arrangements that respect both of your needs and priorities. By working together instead of against each other, you can create agreements that benefit your whole family and help maintain important relationships for the road ahead, especially if you’re co-parenting.

While we’ve helped couples reach an agreement 98% of the time, even the most effective mediation may not always result in a mutually agreeable outcome to both parties.

When that happens, the next step in the divorce process is not necessarily litigation. Depending on the level of impasse between the parties, the mediator may ask each spouse to consult with an attorney and return with what they’ve learned. Or if the spouses are not being cooperative, refer to them to attorneys trained in the collaborative law process and they would work any remaining disagreements there.

The good news is any progress made in mediation is not lost and can still be used moving forward.

Divorce mediation is a voluntary process. So while we always hope couples choose to mediate their separation or divorce, in our experience, there’s usually one spouse who is familiar with mediation, and one who is not. To help your spouse, we encourage you to direct them to our comprehensive options for divorce guide and encourage them to learn more about the benefits of choosing mediation.

Yes. The mediation agreement is known as a Memorandum of Understanding (or MOU for short) and contains all of the agreements reached by a couple in mediation.

Depending on the mediator you work with, you mediation agreement may simply be an outline which will need to be rewritten by attorneys.

When working with us, you’ll receive a comprehensive and highly-detailed written agreement outlining in great detail all agreements you and your spouse reached in mediation, without the need for it to be rewritten.

While we can’t speak for all NYC mediators, for couples who choose to work with us, the answer is a decisive yes. There is no divorce in New York that is too complicated for us to handle. Given our proficiency working with couples divorcing after 20 years of marriage or more, gray divorces, cases involving children with special needs, divorces with a business involved, cases involving variable, deferred and complicated compensation issues, and high net worth divorces, most cases we handle have a great deal of complexities.

Read case studies and learn more about who we help.

Yes. Mediation isn’t only used exclusively by divorcing couples. It is also commonly used by couples who wish to negotiate and outline the terms of the separation and aren’t yet ready to pursue their final divorce. In mediation, the goal is to reach mutually beneficial outcomes, no matter whether a couple is divorcing or separating.

While some mediators work with couples who are both married as well as those already divorced, at Equitable Mediation, we only conduct post-divorce mediation for our former clients (couples who worked with us when they first got divorced.)

No. As we have no idea if your agreement is fair and equitable, or follows the process required for a New York divorce, we would not be comfortable doing so. Nor can we review your divorce settlement as we are not attorneys, and are not permitted to give advice.

With an MBA in Finance, our mediator Joe brings real financial expertise to the table, helping you navigate everything from asset division to support arrangements with confidence. And since divorces can easily get off track if you’re not careful, we’ve crafted a process that actually keeps negotiations moving forward productively, even when things feel challenging.

But we also know that divorce isn’t just about the process or numbers – it’s an emotional journey. That’s why we offer divorce coaching to support you every step of the way. And because everyone moves at their own pace, we offer unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee. No rushing, no watching the clock – just the time you need to reach lasting agreements.

Visit our Why Choose Us page to get the full picture of what we believe makes our mediation services unique.

If you still have questions, please visit our Learning Center.

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout the New York City metropolitan area from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, New Rochelle, Mount Vernon, White Plains, Hempstead, Valley Stream, Glen Cove, Freeport, Port Washington, Great Neck, Rye, New Hyde Park, Garden City, Floral Park, Mineola, Westbury, East Rockaway, Lynbrook, Baldwin, Rockville Centre, Ossining, Tarrytown, Dobbs Ferry, Nyack, Huntington, Babylon, Islip, Port Jefferson, Patchogue, Stony Brook, Montauk, Southampton, East Hampton, Oyster Bay, Massapequa, Spring Valley, Suffern, and Mount Kisco.

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

Why Trust Equitable Mediation

Equitable Mediation Services is a trusted and nationally recognized provider of divorce mediation, serving couples exclusively in California, New Jersey, Washington, New York, Illinois, and Pennsylvania. Founded in 2008, this husband-and-wife team has successfully guided over 1,000 couples through the complex divorce process, helping them reach amicable, fair, and thorough agreements that balance each party’s interests and prioritize their children’s well-being. All without involving attorneys if they so choose.

At the heart of Equitable Mediation are Joe Dillon, MBA, and Cheryl Dillon, CPC—two compassionate, experienced professionals committed to helping couples resolve the financial, emotional, and practical issues of divorce peacefully and with dignity.

Joe Dillon, MBA – Divorce Mediator & Financial Expert

As a seasoned Divorce Mediator with an MBA in Finance, Joe Dillon specializes in helping clients navigate complex parental and financial issues, including:

  • Physical and legal custody
  • Spousal support (alimony) and child support
  • Equitable distribution and community property division
  • Business ownership
  • Retirement accounts, stock options, and RSUs

Joe’s unique blend of financial acumen, mediation expertise, and personal insight enables him to skillfully guide couples through complex divorce negotiations, reaching fair agreements that safeguard the family’s emotional and financial well-being.

He brings clarity and structure to even the most challenging negotiations, ensuring both parties feel heard, supported, and in control of their outcome. This approach has earned him a reputation as one of the most trusted names in alternative dispute resolution.

Cheryl Dillon, CPC – Certified Divorce Coach & Client Advocate

Cheryl Dillon is a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and the Divorce Coach at Equitable Mediation. She earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and completed formal training at The Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – an internationally recognized leader in the field of coaching education.

Her unique blend of emotional intelligence, coaching expertise, and personal insight enables her to guide individuals through the emotional complexities of divorce compassionately.

Cheryl’s approach fosters improved communication, reduced conflict, and better decision-making, equipping clients to manage the challenges of divorce effectively. Emotions have a profound impact on shaping the divorce process, its outcomes, and the future well-being of all involved.

What We Offer: Flat-Fee, Full-Service Divorce Mediation

Equitable Mediation provides:

  • Full-service divorce mediation with real financial expertise
  • Convenient, online sessions via Zoom
  • Unlimited sessions for one customized flat fee (no hourly billing surprises)
  • Child custody and parenting plan negotiation
  • Spousal support and asset division mediation
  • Divorce coaching and emotional support
  • Free and paid educational courses on the divorce process

Whether clients are facing financial complexities, looking to safeguard their children’s futures, or trying to protect everything they’ve worked hard to build, Equitable Mediation has the expertise to guide them towards the outcomes that matter most to them and their families.

Why Couples Choose Equitable Mediation

  • 98% case resolution rate
  • Trusted by over 1,000 families since 2008
  • Subject-matter experts in the states in which they practice
  • Known for confidential, respectful, and cost-effective processes
  • Recommendations by therapists, financial planners, and former clients

Equitable Mediation Services operates in:

  • California: San Francisco, San Diego, Los Angeles
  • New Jersey: Bridgewater, Morristown, Short Hills
  • Washington: Seattle, Bellevue, Kirkland
  • New York: NYC, Long Island
  • Illinois: Chicago, North Shore
  • Pennsylvania: Philadelphia, Bucks County, Montgomery County, Pittsburgh, Allegheny County

Schedule a Free Discovery Call to learn if you’re a good candidate for divorce mediation with Joe and Cheryl.

Related Resources

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    Alimony in California: A Divorce Mediator’s Complete Guide to Navigating Spousal Support

    Find out how alimony in California works and how you can prevent your spousal support negotiation (and divorce) from turning into a disaster!

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    New Jersey Alimony Guide: How Spousal Support is Really Calculated

    Determining alimony in NJ is very challenging. Learn what you need to know about this complex topic and how to get a fair alimony agreement.

  • Illustration of a California map overlayed with a house icon and dollar sign beside a mediator discussing spousal support options with a couple. Need clear guidance on alimony in California? Call Equitable Mediation at (877) 732-6682 to schedule your consultation today.

    New York Alimony Negotiations: a Guide to Spousal Support Settlements

    Despite the use of a formula, agreeing on New York alimony is still difficult! Find out what you need to know and how to best resolve it.