How Long Will I Pay or Receive Alimony in New Jersey if Our Marriage Lasted 12 Years, Versus 18 Years, Versus 22 Years?

One of the most anxiety-producing questions in divorce is how long? If you’re going to pay alimony, how many years are we talking about? If you’re going to receive alimony, how long can you count on it?

The answer in New Jersey depends heavily on how long you were married. But it’s not as simple as a formula or a calculator. The length of your marriage provides a framework, but your specific circumstances, ages, earning capacity, and priorities all factor into what duration actually makes sense.

Here’s what often surprises people: two couples married the same length of time can end up with very different alimony durations based on their specific situations. And that’s especially true when you negotiate in mediation rather than leaving these decisions to someone else.

As a divorce mediator with a finance background, I help couples understand how marriage length affects alimony duration and, more importantly, how to think about what duration makes sense for your specific financial picture. While I can’t give you legal advice, I can walk you through the framework and show you how mediation gives you flexibility to structure something that actually works for both of you.

Please note: The financial examples in this post are for illustration purposes only and use simplified scenarios with round numbers to demonstrate concepts. Every divorce situation is unique, with different income levels, expenses, family circumstances, and financial complexities. These examples are not predictions of what you should expect in your specific case. I’m not a lawyer and cannot provide legal advice or tell you what alimony amount you’ll receive or pay.

The Basic Framework: Under 20 Years Versus 20+ Years

In New Jersey, the 2014 alimony reform created a clear dividing line at 20 years of marriage. This is the most important threshold to understand because it fundamentally changes how duration works.

For marriages under 20 years, limited-duration alimony typically cannot exceed the length of the marriage unless there are exceptional circumstances. So if you were married 12 years, you’re generally looking at a maximum of 12 years of alimony. If married for 18 years, the maximum is typically 18 years.

For marriages of 20 years or longer, the durational cap disappears. Open durational alimony becomes an option—alimony without a predetermined end date. That doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed or that it literally lasts forever, but there’s no automatic time limit like there is for shorter marriages.

If Your Marriage Lasted 12 Years

A 12-year marriage falls squarely in the middle range, where limited duration alimony is the norm. The starting point is that alimony typically wouldn’t exceed 12 years. But whether alimony should last the full 12 years or something shorter depends on many other factors.

If you’re relatively young—say you married at 26 and divorced at 38—and both have strong earning potential, maybe alimony for 5 or 6 years makes more sense. That gives the lower-earning spouse time to rebuild their career without tying you together financially indefinitely.

Let’s work through a concrete example. One spouse earns $120,000 annually ($8,000 monthly after tax), and the other earns $35,000 annually ($2,500 monthly after tax) after being out of the workforce for most of the marriage. With alimony at $2,500 per month for 6 years, the recipient has a total of $5,000 per month and time to complete retraining and build income. By year 7, they’re targeting earnings of $60,000 to $70,000. Alternatively, alimony of $2,000 per month for the full 12 years provides more extended support at a lower amount, giving more time for gradual career rebuilding.

From a financial planning perspective, I help couples understand these trade-offs. Can the recipient realistically become self-supporting in 6 years with intensive retraining, or do they need the full 12 years for a slower rebuild? What does the payor’s cash flow look like under each scenario? Can they buy a home sooner if alimony ends at year 6 rather than year 12?

These conversations in mediation allow you to determine the actual duration that makes sense, rather than defaulting to the maximum simply because it’s the guideline.

If Your Marriage Lasted 18 Years

An 18-year marriage is interesting because you’re approaching that 20-year threshold but haven’t quite reached it. The durational cap still applies—alimony typically cannot exceed 18 years.

But 18 years is a long marriage. You likely have teenage or young adult children. You’re probably in your mid-40s or older. Retirement planning is becoming concrete, not theoretical.

The conversation about alimony duration often intersects with retirement planning. If the payor is 47 and planning to retire at 67, that’s 20 years away. Does it make sense for alimony to last 18 years, essentially continuing until near retirement? Or should alimony be structured to end sooner, perhaps with higher amounts for a shorter period?

Here’s a real scenario: Both spouses are 48 after an 18-year marriage. One earns $180,000 annually, the other $45,000 after being out of the workforce for 15 years. Option one: $3,000 monthly for 10 years, with the recipient receiving an extra $150,000 in retirement assets to build long-term security. Option two: $2,500 monthly for the full 18 years, continuing until both are 66. Option three: $3,500 monthly for 12 years with step-downs in the final three years ($2,500, then $1,500) as the recipient’s earnings increase and Social Security approaches.

I’ve worked with couples who negotiated 10 years with larger asset transfers. I’ve worked with others who agreed to the full 18 years with step-downs. And I’ve worked with some who chose 12 years because both parties wanted a cleaner break sooner. The 18-year marriage length gives you options.

One important consideration: if one spouse has been out of the workforce for most of those 18 years, getting back to meaningful employment becomes more challenging. Age discrimination is real. Skills gaps are significant. The financial modeling needs to be realistic about earning capacity and the time required to rebuild a career.

If Your Marriage Lasted 22 Years

Once you cross that 20-year threshold, everything changes. At 22 years, the durational cap disappears. Open durational alimony becomes an option.

But here’s what couples often misunderstand: just because open durational alimony is an option doesn’t mean it’s required or that it’s the right choice for your situation.

Perhaps you’ve been married 22 years, but now that you’re both 50 with strong careers, you’re eager to move forward independently. In mediation, you could negotiate limited-duration alimony of 8 or 10 years, even though open durational alimony is possible. You get to choose.

Or maybe you’ve been married 22 years, one spouse hasn’t worked in 20 years, and there’s a significant age and health disparity. Open durational alimony might make sense, but even then, you can structure it thoughtfully. Perhaps it continues until the payor reaches retirement age, with clear terms about what happens then. Maybe it includes step-downs over time as the recipient’s Social Security benefits begin.

Here’s a typical scenario: After a 22-year marriage, one spouse earns $200,000 annually and plans to retire at 65 (13 years away). The other spouse earns $30,000 and is 52 years old. Option one: Open durational alimony at $3,500 monthly, continuing until retirement at 65, then dropping to $1,500 monthly. Option two: Limited duration alimony at $4,500 monthly for 10 years, with the recipient receiving an extra $250,000 in retirement assets. Option three: $4,000 monthly for 13 years (until retirement), ending completely at that point, with the recipient receiving a larger share of pension benefits.

The key with marriages of 20 years or more is that retirement planning becomes central to the conversation about duration. You’re no longer talking about alimony ending while both of you are in prime working years. You’re potentially talking about alimony continuing into retirement years, which has significant implications for both of your financial security.

I help couples model their retirement scenarios. What do both of your financial pictures look like at age 65 or 67? How does alimony affect retirement savings for both of you? What happens to each person’s lifestyle in retirement under different alimony structures?

The Factors Beyond Marriage Length

While marriage length provides the framework, other factors significantly influence what makes sense:

Your ages matter enormously. A 12-year marriage when you’re both 35 looks very different from one when you’re both 55. The younger you are, the more time you have to rebuild careers and financial independence.

Earning capacity matters. If the lower-earning spouse has a high earning potential that needs reactivation, a shorter duration with career support might work better than a longer duration with lower amounts.

Your children’s ages matter. If you have young children and one parent has been the primary caretaker, alimony duration might align with when the youngest child reaches a certain age, allowing the caretaker parent to work more hours.

Your priorities matter. Some couples value long-term security and are comfortable with a longer duration at lower amounts. Others prefer higher amounts for shorter durations to create a cleaner break sooner.

Creating Clarity Through Strategic Financial Planning

Understanding how the length of marriage affects alimony duration helps you approach negotiations with realistic expectations. A 12-year marriage, an 18-year marriage, and a 22-year marriage each come with different frameworks and different considerations.

But the framework is just a starting point. Your specific situation—your ages, earning capacity, children, and retirement timeline—determines what duration actually makes sense. And the difference between 6 and 12 years of alimony at $2,500 per month is $180,000. Between 10 and 18 years, at $3,000 monthly, is $288,000. These are real dollars with real consequences for both of your futures.

If you went to court, a judge would apply guidelines in a brief hearing with limited information. You might end up with 12 years when eight would have worked better for both of you, or 10 years when you really needed 15. You’d have no control over the outcome.

In mediation, you can have nuanced conversations about what duration actually makes sense. You can model different scenarios and see the long-term implications—not just the monthly payment, but how it affects retirement savings, home buying, and financial security 10 or 15 years from now.

This is where sophisticated financial analysis makes the most significant difference. With an MBA in Finance and experience working through these specific questions with hundreds of couples, I help you project the real impact of different duration choices. We don’t just pick several years—we model what happens to both of your financial lives under different scenarios, integrating alimony duration with retirement planning, asset division, and long-term cash flow.

That future-focused approach means you’re making decisions with your eyes open. You understand what happens in year 5 when the recipient’s income has grown, in year 10 when the kids finish college, and in year 15 when retirement approaches. You’re not surprised when circumstances change because you’ve already planned for how your agreement adapts.

Suppose you’re facing these questions about alimony duration in New Jersey. In that case, mediation with the right financial expertise helps you move from anxiety about an unknown timeline to clarity about a duration that works for both of you. You deserve an approach that shows you the real long-term impact of different choices and helps you make decisions with confidence.