The Ultimate

PA Divorce Planning Guide (with Checklist)

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We understand that considering divorce is one of life’s most challenging crossroads. While the path ahead may feel overwhelming, having a clear plan can help you feel more grounded and prepared.

That’s why we created this guide – so you don’t have to figure out these first steps alone.

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Guide to Divorce Mediation in PA

In Pennsylvania, it may be conducted privately or publicly, depending on whether you and your spouse choose to mediate first or hire attorneys first.

If you take the preferred path and choose to mediate first, you would hire a private, impartial third party mediation service like ours, typically before you file with the courts.

During the mediation process, Joe, your mediator, will help you identify, discuss, negotiate and resolve all of the issues surrounding your divorce privately, confidentially and without the use of divorce attorneys, if that is your preference. He will then draft your agreement and a host of supporting documents.

Once the mediation process is completed, you would complete your divorce through the courts.

Yes. If you initially choose to forgo private mediation, and instead hire an attorney, you’d likely be sent to court-ordered mediation. Pennsylvania has court-ordered mediation whereby you’ll be required to engage in child custody and financial mediation using a mediator or something called a Family Master. And while we’re always supportive of couples whose divorce settlement is the result of a mediated divorce, there are a number of shortcomings (in our opinion) with going the court-ordered mediation route:

  • First, you don’t get to choose your mediator (Family Master) like you would with private divorce mediation. It’s completely at the court’s discretion who will facilitate your negotiations. So you could end up with a mediator you don’t like, or you’re not comfortable working with for your divorce proceedings.
  • Second, court-ordered mediation in PA can be farmed out to various community groups who perform all kinds of mediation, not just mediation involving family matters. These may be volunteers who don’t practice full-time like we do, or have the requisite knowledge or experience to help you craft the solutions you need in order to move forward with your lives in a timely manner.
  • Finally, what if your divorce issues are so complex that even if the mediator isn’t fresh out of mediation training, they aren’t experienced handling unique issues like yours? In that case, mediation sessions will become a waste of time and now you’ll have to wait months for a family court date. When you could have resolved all of your issues in private mediation with us long before that.

Since no two mediators are alike, the actual mediation process will vary from mediator-to-mediator. But here’s a high-level overview of what happens throughout the process once you become our client:

To kick things off, your first mediation session will be a one-hour strategy session. In this session, Joe (our mediator) will help you and your spouse prepare for mediation by:

  • Developing a framework for your negotiations;
  • Identifying key areas of concern you each have;
  • Defining your goals for the process;
  • Directing you to begin gathering important financial documents;
  • And instructing you on how to work together to complete our proprietary forms and worksheets.

This session is intended to help you, and Joe to define what a successful mediation will look like and greatly increase the chances you will come to resolution on all required issues.

Once you’ve submitted to us requested pre-work and discovery items, sessions transition to negotiations.

Joe will meet with you and your spouse online and guide you through a series of conversations encompassing the issues that need to be settled for your divorce. Each session lasts approximately 2-hours, and the number and timing of sessions depend greatly on the details of your divorce, and the complexity of the issues you face.

If areas of disagreement arise in a mediation session, Joe will use his expertise in a variety of dispute resolution techniques to help you negotiate and break through any impasses encountered.

Once terms are reached for all required issues, he will then draft a complex written document called a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU), outlining all decisions made during your negotiations.

Upon completion of mediation, you will be encouraged to have your written agreement reviewed by your own respective lawyers, however it is your decision whether or not to do so.

Once you both agree the MOU looks good, you will then hire a filing professional who will assist with the paperwork preparation process. Your divorce papers may include, but are not limited to, the uncontested divorce filing, the divorce complaint, the marital settlement agreement, and budgets, along with a host of other related Pennsylvania court paperwork. It’s important to note there are attorney and non-attorney filing professionals and it is your choice of which to use to have your divorce filed with the court.

Upon receipt of the proper documentation and filing fees, your uncontested judgement of divorce (decree) will be granted by a judge typically in three to four months as there is a three-month waiting period in PA.

For a divorcing couple with children, there are four main issues in a Pennsylvania divorce: parenting plan, child support, alimony, and division of marital property and debts. For couples with no children, there are two: alimony and division of marital property and debts.

Since Pennsylvania is an equitable distribution state, and mediation allows the parties to come to any agreement they both feel is fair and equitable, yes. You and your spouse could choose to divide your marital assets based on what each person truly needs rather than dividing everything 50-50. An expert mediator will typically be able to help you analyze your assets and liabilities, and share with you options for dividing them in accordance with each of your needs. This in mediation is known as “interest-based negotiation” and in our experience, is the preferred negotiation method in a divorce.

Yes. Lawyers aren’t required for a divorce. Some individuals choose to reach out to a law firm and speak with a divorce lawyer during or after mediation if they want to further understand divorce law, or need legal advice. But others specifically choose to not involve attorneys in their divorce or separation, preferring instead to divorce without a lawyer. While we don’t require you to retain an attorney during mediation, if you want to get a lawyer’s perspective on specific legal matters, we encourage you to do so.

No. It isn’t necessary or required for you and your spouse to have everything decided before you start divorce mediation. In fact, many divorcing couples specifically wait for their chosen mediator to help them work through their issues. This way, you can ensure everything is covered thoroughly – in an appropriate order and given the time and attention required.

We cannot speak for all divorce mediators, but for us the answer is yes. Given our experience helping couples divorcing after 20 years of marriage, those with high asset cases, grey divorce cases, business owner divorces, and cases involving complicated compensation issues, most Pennsylvania divorce mediation cases we handle involve a high level of situational complexities.

There are a great deal of differences between the two divorce methods ranging from the number of professionals involved, approach, cost, speed, and more. This article covers in more detail a comparison of divorce mediation vs lawyers. And this article covers mediation vs collaborative divorce (also referred to as collaborative law process).

Divorce mediation is a viable option if:

  • You and your spouse are both willing to take part in a transparent and honest negotiation that includes full disclosure;
  • There’s a level of respect between the two of you, and because mediation is a voluntary process, you’re both willing to participate;
  • You want an experienced professional to help you reach agreement on the necessary issues, but you want to maintain full control over your divorce agreement and make your own decisions.

If one of you wants to mediate, and one of you doesn’t, unfortunately, mediation will not be an option.

Since 2008 we’ve helped 98% of our mediation clients reach agreement, so you have an excellent chance of avoiding a protracted court battle if you mediate with us. However, if on the very small chance you’re unable to reach a settlement in mediation, we would refer you and your spouse to mediation-supportive attorneys who would use the progress you made with us in mediation, and help you resolve the issues that remain.

While our experience with an unsuccessful mediation is limited, for the cases we were unable to resolve completely, two themes emerged: failure to disclose information and interpersonal conflict.

Mediation is a good faith negotiation and requires the parties to be fully transparent, as well as be able to communicate directly with each other. So if one or both spouses are unwilling to adhere to these two principles, mediation may not work.

While we’ve done our best to answer many of the questions we’ve been frequently asked, we encourage you to visit our learning center where you’ll find articles and digital courses that explore the topics of divorce and divorce mediation further.

There’s no need to travel to an office for our sessions. We’ve been conducting divorce mediation services remotely since 2011, allowing us to serve couples throughout Pennsylvania from the comfort of their own homes or offices.

We’ve helped client couples in Philadelphia and the surrounding areas of: Gladwyne, Villanova, Bryn Mawr, Haverford, Radnor, Wayne, Chestnut Hill, Blue Bell, Newtown Square, Devon, Berwyn, Fort Washington, Gwynedd Valley, Lower Merion Township, Wynnewood, Swarthmore, Malvern, Media, Narberth, Ardmore, Penn Valley, New Hope, Doylestown, Ambler, Huntingdon Valley, and Flourtown.

As well as in Pittsburgh and the surrounding areas of: Sewickley Heights, Fox Chapel, Upper St. Clair, Mt. Lebanon, Edgeworth, Sewickley, Pine Township, Wexford, Franklin Park, Peters Township, Bethel Park, Marshall Township, Adams Township, Cranberry Township, Murrysville, Moon Township, North Allegheny, McCandless, Hampton Township, O’Hara Township, Shadyside, Squirrel Hill, Allison Park, Oakmont, South Fayette, Robinson Township

Our virtual approach provides maximum convenience while ensuring the same professional, confidential service you would receive in person.

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