How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation

By Joseph Dillon, Divorce Mediator
New Jersey and Illinois mediation office

Now that you’ve both made the difficult decision to divorce you may be wondering how to prepare for divorce mediation so that the process may go as smoothly as possible. Preparing for divorce mediation isn’t the easiest thing to do. It involves both the gathering of factual information as well as some internal work to ensure you’re emotionally ready to mediate.

Helping you prepare for divorce mediation and save time, money and heartache throughout the process is the goal of everyone one of our mediations.
Make sure you choose your divorce firm wisely!

Preparing for divorce mediation should be broken into three distinct categories:

  • Emotional
  • Financial
  • Legal

How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation: The Emotional

In the first phase of preparing for divorce mediation, you should ask yourself the questions that pertain to your emotional state of being. Things to consider include:

  • Am I strong enough to mediate? – mediation requires you to sit in the same room as your soon to be ex-spouse so is that going to be OK for you? In preparing for divorce mediation you have to ask yourself that very difficult question and be honest with yourself. If not, the telephone mediation may be the best option in your case.
  • Am I able to stand up for myself and ask for what I need and want? – certainly the mediator will help keep an eye out for power imbalances in which one party is taking advantage of the other but they are not your advocate and can’t read your mind. You need to be able to state clearly what is it you want and need as a result of this divorce.
  • Do I trust my partner? – even though your marriage is over do you still think that on the whole your spouse is trustworthy and will negotiate in good faith? In order for mediation to work trust is paramount for both the parties and the mediator.

If you have any questions about these topics it’s best to speak with a divorce coach who can help you manage the emotional part of the mediation process.

How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation: The Financial

A large part of preparing for divorce mediation is the gathering of a lot of pertinent financial data for the conversations regarding equitable distribution, child support and alimony.

And while there’s a lot of free information out there it’s outdated or incomplete.

For less than the cost of two minutes of a lawyer’s time, we encourage you to get our checklist so you can prepare for divorce mediation in the most efficient and cost-effective way possible!

Get your divorce mediation checklist for only $9.95!

How to Prepare for Divorce Mediation: The Legal

I believe you’ve already answered this question by choosing the more peaceful, efficient and cost-effective path of mediation so the good news is you’ve already begun preparing for divorce mediation! Now as far as getting a lawyer goes I will answer the question that I am constantly asked by all of my clients and that is: “do I need an attorney when using divorce mediation?” The honest answer is that’s not a decision I can make for you as it depends on the complexity of your situation, your comfort level with your spouse and how well you are able to work together. This is something we will talk about when we meet for the first time so be sure to bring it up at our first session.

The question of how to prepare for divorce mediation is a big one. But by having some foresight into what you need to do in advance will make both preparing for divorce mediation as well as the actual mediation process itself goes as smoothly as possible.

Ready to get started? Call our offices at (877) 732-6682 to schedule an initial meeting for you and your spouse today!

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Joe Dillon oversees the firm’s practice areas of mediation and divorce financial analysis, and serves clients in both Illinois and New Jersey. Joe and the team at Equitable Mediation have the capabilities to address the unique needs of the “whole” client from a legal, financial and emotional perspective through it's inter-related practice areas of divorce mediation, divorce financial analysis and divorce recovery coaching. Joe is an avid traveler and enjoys volunteering his time helping homeless animals in both Chicago, IL and Princeton, NJ. He can be reached in NJ at (908) 864-2177 or in IL at (312) 583-7436. +Joseph Dillon | G+