Regardless of whether you're the one driving the decision or are on the receiving end of such shocking news, facing a divorce can be utterly terrifying.
In addition to the stress and overwhelming feelings of anger, grief, confusion, frustration and fear, the worries pour in and flood your mind filling you with anxiety.
You may have confided in friends or family but you remain unsure about your next steps. Because the advice you’re getting from them is based on their personal opinions instead of fact or reality.
You may have spoken to a family law attorney, but held back on hiring one because you didn't like their approach or how they're trying to stir the pot and make your spouse the "enemy."
And then they asked for a big fat retainer check.
One thing's for sure: you don’t want to be taken advantage of by family lawyers or pushed into doing something that takes you out of your integrity.
You want to keep the peace.
Put your children first.
And maintain control of your emotions, finances and future so you can confidently move through your divorce as quickly, cost-effectively and productively as possible.
All of those things can be done. It simply comes down to you and the choices you make.
Hopefully, you learned on our website that the best way to resolve your tactical divorce issues is by using divorce mediation and working with us. And as far as the "emotional support, moving forward and divorce recovery" part goes, that's where life coaching comes in.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
"The coaching process with Cheryl has been an integral part of balancing my emotions and the practical matters of my divorce. Cheryl's guidance and ability to provoke ideas on how to manage situations has been truly a blessing and a way to reduce my anxiety, cope with emotions and help me surface my true feelings and fears.
Having a coach is a resource I never knew could be so valuable and I am grateful for Cheryl's ability to listen, reflect, and guide me through solving challenges."
Divorce Coaching is all about results.
I'll work with you one-on-one and guide you through my signature coaching process which is designed to go directly to the root of what’s preventing you from moving forward in the direction you say you want to go and overcome any divorce-related challenges (and people) that stand in your way.
And while I have no doubt that at the end of each session(s), you’ll feel supported, inspired and empowered to take action, wait until you experience the real power of coaching – it’s what happens between sessions.
There’s no quick fix, but if you trust in and commit to the coaching process, your life will change more quickly, profoundly and positively than you ever thought possible!
"Cheryl is very skilled at guiding people through the emotional minefield of divorce. She focuses on setting you on a productive path toward new life goals by helping you see the potential in yourself.
Her insight allows her to ask guided questions so one can arrive at a deeper understanding of their needs with ownership of that journey. It can be hard to sift through the noise of what’s going on around you and Cheryl is masterful at listening and then helping one synthesize their thoughts into a cohesive plan for moving forward in a positive new way.
I am grateful for her thoughtful participation in the process of making a difficult change in my life."
Nope, it sure isn't.
Therapy is a healing profession that typically focuses on the past. It’s about processing your emotional history or diagnosing and treating mental health issues and therapists (or mental health professionals) use their expertise to help clients work through unhealed emotional traumas – “why” things happened.
Coaching is about the present and the future. It shifts the emphasis from "why" to "how to," keeping focus on the current situation and actively developing plans for the future.
You can't change the past, but you can create your future!
"The emotional rollercoaster of the divorce process was draining me, so I decided to try out coaching to see if it could help me. Cheryl really listened and was able to provide me with steps to take to get on the right path to change my way of thinking, get off the rollercoaster, and take control of my life again.
Cheryl provided me with tools and skills that I could easily apply and through her coaching and positive reinforcements, I was able to move out of victim mode and get on with my life."
I'm glad you asked!
You can choose from one of the following subject areas outlined below. Or, we can work together to develop a customized program tailored to your specific goals.
|Conquer the Divorce Chaos:||
To say divorce is stressful would be an understatement!
We’ll work together to identify and disconnect from the things that are draining you and holding you back from the joy, freedom and inner peace you desire.
I’ll teach you my favorite “go-to” techniques that you can apply right now (and into the future beyond your divorce) to ditch the emotional rollercoaster, disconnect from the relationship drama, make conscious choices and live in alignment with your core values and priorities.
|Dealing with Your Soon-to-be Ex:||
Whether you call it button pushing, getting your goat, or really pissing you off, there’s no doubt certain people and situations have a way of triggering you in ways that no one else can.
Together we’ll practice techniques to help you keep calm and move on. This way, you'll know just what to do to keep your “s#!t” together in the eye of the storm, no matter what your soon-to-be ex (or life) throws at you.
While you may no longer be husband and wife after you're divorced, if you have children with your soon-to-be ex, you'll still share the joint responsibility of raising them. And it goes without saying you probably don’t see eye-to-eye on all matters when it comes to their parenting style (or lack thereof).
We’ll work together to develop effective co-parenting techniques, set boundaries, improve communication skills and I’ll teach you how to let the other parent do their thing without it getting under your skin or making you crazy - even when differing parenting styles are in full swing.
|Divorce Financial Savvy:||
Divorce doesn’t create income, it only creates expense.
We’ll work together to put a sound post-divorce financial plan in place and I’ll teach you critical skills to get a handle on your finances with regard to budgeting, bill paying and saving for your future.
|Entering or Returning to the Workforce:||
Perhaps you’ve only been out of the workforce for a short while. Or maybe it’s been forever since you worked outside the home.
We’ll work together to brainstorm to help you figure out "what you want to be when you grow up." Then, I’ll teach you how to create a resume, build a network, conduct a job search and nail that interview!
|Play, Date & Fall in Love Again:||
Believe it or not, there WILL come a time when you choose to give love a second chance, but want to do things differently.
We’ll work together to identify what you truly want in an ideal partner, your “deal breakers,” and, when you're ready, help you find the courage to dive back into the dating pool with confidence!
We’ll also investigate a whole world of possibilities for what’s next when it comes to new friends, new hobbies, new experiences and having FUN!!!
"Cheryl has been instrumental in coaching me through several major life decisions, both personally and professionally. She is caring, trustworthy and experienced in helping to gain clarity through what I call 'mental clutter'.
Cheryl's coaching skills have helped me gain confidence, focus and drive to make the right choices and then make them happen! In addition to being a great driving force, she always demonstrates sensitivity and confidentiality, which I truly appreciate. She is a true professional in every aspect!"
As a coach, I don't give you legal advice (or any other kind of advice for that matter), and I don't solve your problems for you.
In coaching, you are the expert and while I have expertise to share with you, the goal is on empowering you to take full responsibility for the choices you make and the results you achieve.
Obviously you'd be hiring me as your coach because you want your problems to be resolved and eliminated. Make no mistake, coaching will absolutely do that, but in a way that enables you, not someone else, to resolve the issues going on in your life.
Oh, and by the way, I don’t believe in problems, only opportunities!
And after coaching with me, you will, too!!!
"Cheryl is a highly professional and talented individual who has an amazing ability to connect well with people. She is not your ordinary life coach!
She is passionate about helping others and is determined to make a positive difference in the lives people who are struggling with divorce issues."
Coaching is a short-term, solution-focused partnership that is action-oriented.
Just as you won’t see instant results by going to the gym only one or two times, coaching isn’t a quick fix either and there is real work that needs to be done. You’ll see the results over a period of time and what happens between sessions is even more important than what happens during them.
For this reason, I ask for a 10 session commitment - we need to allow enough time for you to do the core work required to start to see results.
After that, you can work with me for as long as you like (as long as we both agree that progress is being made).
Private, on-on-one coaching sessions are conducted via telephone and you'll call me on our pre-arranged dates/times. Sessions take place weekdays during normal business hours and are 50-minutes in duration unless we've agreed otherwise.
You'll get the most from our work together if you coach with me every week. However, it's not a requirement.
My core 10-session coaching program is regularly $1,500.
To receive a 40% discount, sign-up within 7 days of your exploratory strategy call.
That's a savings of $600!
And to make things a bit more manageable, it's broken into 4 interest-free installments of $225 which are payable upon signing and then on days 30, 60 and 90.
"Cheryl, Here's some reverse-coaching for you - not that you need it :) You have made a huge difference in my life and I'm very grateful. How are you so smart that you understand me better than I do? You have been amazingly perceptive and sensitive with me. Thank you. I needed your help so much, and you delivered.
Every day I reflect about my goals and I ask myself if my current activity is in line with those goals. If not, I make adjustments. Incidentally this has also helped me with weight loss, which was not a big goal of mine but is a silver lining. Thanks again and keep up with your fabulous work!"
One-on-one coaching is completely private, safe and confidential. I follow the ethical guidelines and professional standards set forth by the International Coach Federation (ICF).
A friend is not the same as a coach.
Surrounding yourself with people who love you can be very comforting at a time when you might be questioning your worth. If you have people in your life who can put their own needs aside and be there for you no matter what, and help you get past your divorce, consider yourself lucky!
But in general, friends don’t really know how to do this. They haven’t been trained and often just go forward based on their desire to be helpful to you.
You’re entitled to have someone in your life that will tell you the truth and stick around when you’re hard to be around and not at your best (and we all know divorce tends to do that). Most friends won’t tell you the hard truth for fear of damaging your friendship.
But as your divorce coach, I'm not caught up in hoping you’ll like me. I'll tell it like it is for the purpose of supporting you to see the truth and I'm even willing to be disliked by you in order to get you moving in the direction you say you want to go.
"Cheryl was an amazing find for me at the exact right time. She focused on what I wanted and more importantly, what I needed to step way out of my comfort zone and grow.
She has the insight to see the root of the issue and the tact to get you there too. I have come away with some very powerful concepts that I can and do apply to my life. Thank you Cheryl!"
And since coaching takes place via telephone, there are no geographical limitations.
If you and your spouse are mediating (or planning to mediate) your divorce with us, coaching is included in our flat-fee mediation services.
But you can still coach with me (Cheryl) even if you aren't mediating with us and are instead working with an attorney and are litigating or engaged in the collaborative divorce process.
If you’re contemplating a divorce, you can choose from one of the following subject areas outlined below. Or, we can work together to develop a customized program tailored to your specific situation and goals.
|Stay or Go?||
Together, we'll explore the various reasons and factors driving you to even be considering this significant, life-altering event. Work through your options and the pro's and con's of each. Realistically see how each option would play out now and in the future.
I’m objective and non-judgmental and can be a great sounding board to help you get the clarity and perspective you need. And I'll teach you some tools to get unstuck so you can make the decision right for you.
Then, together we'll create an action plan to manage what lies ahead no matter which path you take – even if your ultimate choice is to stay and work on improving your marriage.
|Line Up Your Life||
If you're leaning towards calling it quits, it's time to get prepared.
Tactically: We'll go through how the divorce process works and the available options, so you'll know which will work best for your situation.
Financially: Divorce only creates expense, not income, and it costs more to run two separate households than one. So with that being said, it's time to draw up a budget, get your finances in order and set a plan for how you will make it on your own. Keep in mind that if you've been a stay-at-home mom or dad, it could mean needing to get a job.
Emotionally: We'll work through when and how to best tell your spouse you want to divorce in order to keep things as peaceful as possible. I'll also teach you some strategies to lower your emotional reactivity and actively participate in your divorce negotiations. And how to practice extreme self-care and stay in your integrity, even when things feel completely out-of-control.
Only you can answer this question.
Not only does coaching require an investment of time and money, it requires a commitment to making personal growth a priority.
If you’re willing to take action to make significant changes and improvements in your life, and the risk involved in making these changes is less scary to you than the risk of continuing to live with whatever is holding you back, then coaching is right for you.
In contrast, if you’re looking for someone to solve your problems for you, or you’re not ready to take responsibility for your own life, coaching is not right for you at this time.
How you move through and beyond divorce is your choice.
Will you choose to stay stuck in the hurt and pain of the past?
Or do you want to do something good for yourself that will put you squarely in control of your own life and happiness now and once and for all?
"Cheryl, thank you for everything. I am enjoying learning about myself at 54 years of age.
I feel more hopeful as I move along and your coaching is helping so much. Thanks again!
If you’re ready to take action, click the link below now and book an exploratory strategy call with me to see if coaching is right for you!