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Cheryl Dillon, Divorce Coach

Cheryl Dillon, Divorce Coach

Equitable Mediation Divorce Coach Cheryl Dillon is passionate about helping couples attain a peaceful, fair and cost-effective divorce while putting their children first. When she’s not supporting her clients through the emotional aspects of this significant life transition, you can find her trying to stick to an exercise program, going on long morning walks and trying to persuade Joe to let her adopt 5 or 10 more dogs.

Author's Posts

Divorce After 20 Years of Marriage or More

Cheryl Dillon, Divorce Coach

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If you've decided to divorce after 20 years or longer, you're probably feeling very alone. Like you're the only couple in the world facing divorce after 50.

But despite what you hear about the falling divorce rate, getting divorced after 20 years of marriage - even after 25 and 30 years for that matter, is not only common these days, but it's on the rise.

According to Bowling Green University's National Center for Family & Marriage Research, from 1990 to 2012, the divorce rate for 55 to 64-year-olds more than doubled, while the rate of divorce for the 65 and older population tripled!

There are many reasons for a divorce at midlife - also known as  gray divorce.

But regardless of why couples are choosing to divorce after staying together for so many years, it’s important to understand that divorce in a long-term marriage is markedly different and much more complicated than divorce after 10 years or less. 

Let's take a closer look at how divorcing after 20 years of marriage (or more) can impact the specific financial, emotional and parental issues you'll face as you go through your divorce.

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Topics: Planning for Divorce, Amicable, Fair, Child-Focused, Divorce Mediation

Positive Things About Divorce

Cheryl Dillon, Divorce Coach

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Years ago, when I was in the middle of a divorce, I remembered thinking I'd never be happy again.

My life was in such turmoil and I was so consumed by sadness and anger that I couldn't imagine any future where I would be over my bad marriage or divorce, let alone be able to learn, heal, grow and move on.

If you are preparing to start the divorce process or are currently in the midst of your own divorce, you can probably relate!

But I want you to know that there is a such thing as a positive divorce.

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Topics: Divorce Support, Contemplating Divorce

How to Know if Marriage Counseling is Working

Cheryl Dillon, Divorce Coach

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There are many reasons that lead a couple to seek a marriage counselor. They could be experiencing a lot of prolonged conflict or other problems between them, one or both might have been unfaithful or there could just be silence between them.

But no matter the reason(s), when a couple does finally go to see a couples counselor, they’re often at a stage where it’s their very last hope.

Marriage counseling sessions can help a couple address the issues they’re facing now and also lay a foundation to help them better deal with future issues.

And while sometimes, one spouse already knows they want to divorce and they’re bringing the counselor on board to help soften the blow, most go to counseling because they truly want to try to work things out and save the marriage.

But does marriage counseling work? How long should a couple invest in marital counseling?

And what are some signs to indicate that their relationship is getting back on track? Or signs to indicate it might be time to throw in the towel and call it quits?

By the way, I know first-hand that marital counseling shouldn't only be considered successful if the marriage can be repaired. Because it can also be successful if it helps a couple recognize they’re not in a healthy relationship and then gives them the encouragement they need to focus on a respectful divorce using mediation.

I asked a panel of respected therapists how to know if marriage counseling is working. Here’s what they said…

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Topics: Contemplating Divorce

The articles in this blog are for informational purposes only and are not intended as legal advice, financial advice, emotional advice or counsel.

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